Okay I can tell the story now...

Discussion in 'Esther's Follies' started by WideHorns, Dec 20, 2006.

  1. orange_pride

    orange_pride 100+ Posts

    You should have a sign that says "santa doesn't exist."

    Then they will not come down your street again.
     
  2. grinder

    grinder 500+ Posts

    I couldn't decide which was funnier, your story or the fact that you live in Wacko.
     
  3. man that there is good
     
  4. Jive_Turkey

    Jive_Turkey 1,000+ Posts


     
  5. MaximumBarnes

    MaximumBarnes 100+ Posts

    I'd have passed the keys off to my wife and rolled out at 15 MPH. Fortunately, I don't have a wife to drag me on stupid **** like that. You got yourself into this mess.
     
  6. locohorn93

    locohorn93 100+ Posts


     
  7. TexasTower

    TexasTower 500+ Posts

    I thought Shaquandra was going to pull a Dave Chappelle limo driver's - "I gotta make a stop" on your ***.

    The true version is just as funny. At least you got some hot cocoa out of the deal.
     
  8. Pimpology

    Pimpology 100+ Posts

    I hope you forgot to include the part of the story where you pre-partied or packed a flask/sixer for the "Tour de Shady Pines".

    If it was me, I'd definitely be an *** and sit in the front yard to taunt Shaniquah on future tours.
     
  9. SubliminalHorn

    SubliminalHorn 500+ Posts

    I had seen this topic on the board, but my laziness prevented me from clicking on it. Holy ****. This is one of the funniest stories I've read on here in a long time. I can only imagine myself in this situation.
     
  10. accuratehorn

    accuratehorn 10,000+ Posts

    You have captured the essence of the Christmas season, a story that should be retold annually, ala, "The Christmas Story." This should be part of the sequel, in fact.
    Told my wife, mother and stepfather the story, and they all laughed.
     
  11. madscientist

    madscientist 1,000+ Posts

    tuck and roll, man.

    i'm sure your wife is a lovely, lovely person, but how many people honestly think a tour of christmas lights in waco could be worth doing for free, let alone paying good money for?

    thanks for the laugh.
     
  12. toucan82

    toucan82 1,000+ Posts

    that better have been some tasty hot cocoa
     
  13. LongIslandIceSIP

    LongIslandIceSIP 500+ Posts

  14. killer b's

    killer b's 25+ Posts

    This is some funny **** right here.
     
  15. Mike_Tyson

    Mike_Tyson 500+ Posts

    I just read this for the 1st time. We're having to finish up the books for the end of the month and year so it is really quiet. I nearly killed myself holding in my laughter! Great story and awesome job writing it! You rock!
     
  16. Longhorn Al

    Longhorn Al 500+ Posts

    I laughed so hard I started coughing. I haven't laughed this hard in a long, long time.
     
  17. ACuriae

    ACuriae 500+ Posts

    Five stars, man. Brilliant!
     
  18. yourlordarileus

    yourlordarileus 250+ Posts

    very funny. i dont think this story is worth $48, maybe $24. you did get yourself into this situation.
     
  19. WideHorns

    WideHorns 25+ Posts

    *UPDATE*

    I took Santa's fat *** off the roof today. As I was doing it I couldn't help but think of my old friend Shaquandra.
    See...the Christmas lights tour continues until this Friday. So I can just imagine her turning the corner and rollin' down our street...and for the first time in over 3 weeks...NO SANTA on the roof!!! She's all "look kids...thurr go San......where 'da f**k Santa go? ...Aww this some ********".

    Aaah the memories we made. Shaquandra I've got a special surprise waiting for your *** next Christmas.

    Thank you Hornfans for helping me laugh my way through a very painful event. [​IMG]
     
  20. orange_pride

    orange_pride 100+ Posts

    i shared this story with my friends and my sister and they both cracked up.

    i can't wait for your story next year, widehorns.
     
  21. Ramathorn

    Ramathorn 1,000+ Posts

    [​IMG] Bravo. I want to beat Shaquandra with a baby arm.
     
  22. mantaray

    mantaray 25+ Posts


     
  23. fantastic..

    welcome back.
     
  24. gsoda3

    gsoda3 250+ Posts


     
  25. NightCrew

    NightCrew 100+ Posts

    At least you got your roll on man
     
  26. WideHorns

    WideHorns 25+ Posts

    Why do I get the feeling that this thing is gonna pop up about this time every year? Oh well...get your laugh on at Wideman's expense. It's all good.
     
  27. mez2

    mez2 100+ Posts

    this is one of my favorite threads in HF history
     
  28. jt09

    jt09 500+ Posts

    We're laughing WITH you WideHorns, not at you!
     
  29. TxArch

    TxArch 250+ Posts

  30. shorty

    shorty 250+ Posts

    Ah, the joys of living in a more rural county in Texas. We have a big display every year in Loy Lake Park that is funded by a couple of foundations and private donations. It is free to the public but they do ask you to make a donation if you can. You drive through the display in your own vehicle at your own speed.

    The Waco display sounds like some of the less ethical striper guides on Lake Texoma. They charge you $500 for 8 hours of fishing, you catch your limit in 30-60 minutes and are back at the dock. They do not do catch and release nor do they take the time to teach you how and where to catch them. No wonder many of their customer's feel like they were taken by a con man.

    Sorry, I would have complained loud and hard to the manager of the display. He and everyone in line to take the tour would have known you expected to be able to see the displays rather than be driven around the trackk by a Jeff Gordon wannabee.

    I would have also let him know the tour should have had explicit details of the route. In a very loud voice I would have let him and everyone else know I did not pay $50 to see my own friggin house.
     

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