As an old guy who has been a witness to the calamity that is now Louisiana A&M...it occurred to me one day that it is an endless cycle. The steps of this cycle are as follows: 1. Aggies have their 4th or 5th poor season and lose to Texas. 2. They fire their coach. 3. They buzz with new energy about the possibilities of getting Bear Bryant or Vince Lombardi to coach at A&M....the past seasons are forgotten. All eyes are now on the future. There is renewed energy and optimism. All previous problems are gone with the firing of the previous coach. 4. They discover that Bryant and Lombardi are dead and that no one in their right mind wants to be their coach. This is met with contempt directed at either UT, college football in general or the LHN...take your pick. Finally, they hire someone either desperate to get out of their current situation (Jerry Sandusky comes to mind) or someone who isn't being paid very much (Whataburger manager). Old with silver hair are required physical characteristics. 5. All the Ags laud their new coach, he's a fantastic recruiter, great X and O's coach, moral and an inspiration to everyone. He makes the UT coach look like Al Capone. The bandwagon is full with happy aggies with selective memory. 6. The first game is against William & Mary but William couldn't come so its just Mary.....Ags lose a heartbreaker in the new coaches debut. 7. Ags limp to a 6-6 finish...but its obvious that brighter days are ahead! Look at the #23 recruiting class this new coach put together....good times are just around the corner. 8. Year 2: Ags go 7-5...but good times are just around the corner. 9. Year 3: Ags go 8-4! It's happening!!! New coach is a recruiting machine!!! WOOOP! 10. Year 4: Ags go 4-8. Coach can't recruit. Time for a change. Can't beat UT. UT game shown on LHN. Fans clamor for a new brand image. Ags squeeze hard and pray for new leadership. 11. See #1.
LSU's full name is "Louisiana State University and Agricultural and Mechanical College," so re-naming Texas A&M as Louisiana A&M makes some sense. Tiger fans are going to have to get used to being called "u.l.s." and "gumbo-sips."
Do the gumbo sips sucking the brains out of crawdads stick their pinkie up in the air, like proper t-sips? Do they know that chants like "Tiger-Bait" will be taken at face value, and the aggy collie will be immediately surrounded by sword waving zealots? Do the gumbo sips realize that using a term like "coonass" will be taken by aggies as an invitation and opportunity to cheat on their pet sheep back in collie station? Do aggies realize that driving home on those dark back roads in gumbo land, headed back to collie station after a day of tailgating and getting their butts whipped in Baton Rouge, offers up a good chance to end up like a certain chubby character in the old movie "Deliverance"? That if they hear dueling banjos and guitars it doesn't mean that they have found a place that loves folk music? Do aggies that wander on down to Bourbon Street after a game in Baton Rouge understand the old scam, "I bet you $5 I can tell you where you got dem shoes?" Do aggies understand that it is not cool to be chanting "SEC, SEC" when they are losing to LSU 50 - 0? Do aggies understand that when they are playing the University of Florida, and try to do the "Gator Chomp" upside down, that they are still doing the Chomp? My only hope is that the SEC doesn't look at this bunch as representative of the entire state of Texas - that this is a special, inbred breed that has been quarantined so as not to infect anyone else west of the Sabine River. I think we are in for an entirely new set of aggy jokes as the milkmen invade the southeast. You thought Alabama taking the National Championship trophy to Walmart for display was a little strange? Until aggy hits town, you ain't seen strange!
a&who??? I recall the Horns used to play someone with a name like that...before the state's agricultural college made themselves even more insignificant by heading east. Why the rush on the part of some folks to put them back on the schedule? I'd be perfectly happy if UT NEVER schedules them for at least the rest of my life. I'm 65 and don't plan to kick off anytime soon.
