Following the Texas-OU game, I conducted an experiment and discovered that the forums on Sooner boards were identical to those found at UT after a loss. I assure you that if I copied, swapped Stoops with Brown; Applewhite with Heupel, Bell with McCoy and any DB with one of ours- the posts were identical. Obviously, I would have corrected some Oklahoma grammatical errors, but you get the point. Then it hit me, I am going to get ahead of the curve and make some templates. One for the AD, one for a to be named coach and one general template just for players. We all know it is coming from some on this board. We just don’t know who and when. There is a pattern to these doom and gloom posts and I just want to help make the process easier for you so you can post during your break times. COACH- Your mission is to convince other posters of your superior football knowledge. Must use highly intelligent and captain obvious verbiage to drive home your points. Use template below. This team is the most poorly prepared team in UT history. [Insert First Name of Coach here in order to show complete disrespect]. I played jr high football in the [insert decade or region to you’re your story credibility] and we were always prepared. [Coach Name] knows nothing about football and his game plan shows that he spent no time watching Herbstriet on Gameday like I do in order to understand how to prepare for [insert team UT just lost to]’s offense. I would have [passed or ran] more. UT is a premier school, with 5 star players and there is no excuse. Every other team with 5 star talent wins every game so we should too. If I could afford to go to a game, I would stop. Why didn’t we use [insert player name that you have a man crush on] more. He was only on the field [do not enter more than three, don’t let the facts get in the way] times. If my career as a fry cook wasn’t going so well, I would have applied for Mack’s job. Player- Your goal here is to use as much foul language and as much outlandish claims as possible. Use an inappropriate pic of a buxom babe to give you more views and real man type street cred. [Insert players last name] sux. I swear I f*ing can [run, tackle, catch a pass or block] better than that [wuss or prima dona]. The problem is that [‘we’coddle our players, aren’t tough or don’t have heart]. I played jr high football in the [insert decade or region to you’re your story credibility] and we played harder than these F*ing Horns. My dad never saw me play. I would look up in the stands and there he would be, but the old man never did get a chance to see me play. Let me show my true jackassery tendencies by posting a link of a player below [missing a f*ing block, tackle or pass]. Rub your hands together boys, new meat headed your way. Too bad the material won’t be. “The creatures outside looked from Longhorn to Sooner, and from Sooner to Aggie, and from Longhorn to Sooner again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.” ¯ George Orwell, Animal Farm
Found it, I originally posted this Dec 2013. If anyone here is an agent, book me on Leno, quick I nailed this one on all three counts and a crisp salute to those of you who used my templates this year.
We should have more message forum templates, it should be easy to come up with a few, just plug n play
