Bathroom Bill I Could Support

Discussion in 'West Mall' started by huisache, Jul 25, 2017.

  1. huisache

    huisache 2,500+ Posts

    I travel a lot around the state and have noticed a problem that cries out for legislative action. I propose that the legislature put aside trifling matters and require public facilities to put the urinals back on the floor where they belong. When I was a kid back in the 50s the urinals were on the floor and usually had ice in them, both to limit the bounce and to limit the peculiar odor.

    Sometime in the 60s they started hanging them on the walls, which has led to what I perceive to be a major problem both as to health and to the smell of the bottom of my shoes.

    To be blunt, Texas males don't seem to be very good shots and more urine gets on the floor than seems healthy. I was in a theater the other day and of the six urinals on the wall only one was moisture free underneath. Of course, this was for the 2:35 feature and so most of the paying pizzing customers had not made their way to the room yet.

    The ladies' room does not have this problem because they don't have urinals. And they are better shots.

    I know this because I like to put on a dress and makeup and go to the ladies' room to molest little girls, like Dan Patrick says.

    That is a separate problem and thank God the legislature is finally doing something to rid Texas of this curse. Up next should be the problem of the blind Texans and careless Texans who foul the restrooms of the Lone Star State!

    Are you with me on this urgent matter? Then write and call your legislators, the Governor and Lt. Governor and let them know your thoughts.
    If they don't agree to act, pizz on their shoes.
     
  2. Seattle Husker

    Seattle Husker 10,000+ Posts

    LOL! I love it.
     
  3. mchammer

    mchammer 10,000+ Posts

    Like this?
    IMG_5959.PNG
     
  4. Mr. Deez

    Mr. Deez Beer Prophet

    Another thing the floor urinals are good for - taking a toddler to the toilet. When Deez, Jr. (who's now 3 years old) has to pee in a public bathroom, I have to lift him and hold him (and his bare ***) against me to pee. If the urinals were on the floor, he could simply walk up, pull down his pants, and go. Much easier.
     
  5. Joe Fan

    Joe Fan 10,000+ Posts

  6. Clean

    Clean 5,000+ Posts

    I'm OK with most any kind of urinal except for the horse trough style. Those are awful.

    The restroom on my floor at work has two urinals and two toilets. If you think Texas men are poor shots at wall hanging urinals, you should see the toilets after they try to pee in them. Lots of Mamas apparently forgot to teach their sons to raise the seat before peeing. Even if they did raise the seat, there's usually pee all over the rim of the bowl.

    Don't get me started.
     
  7. Phil Elliott

    Phil Elliott 2,500+ Posts

    The puddle underneath the wall-mounted urinals is not from poor aim so much as it is the 1-2 drips that fall off of each man's member as he is putting things back into position. Notice how the puddle will grow as the day goes on.
     
  8. Brad Austin

    Brad Austin 2,500+ Posts

    I'm a preventative over-shaker. Typically give it a good 3-4 shakes total, maybe a short pause in the middle to let things settle and then resume.

    Helps avoid the transport drip and possible leftover drip in the undies. The downside is it could be misconstrued as a mini-whack in public. :smile1:

    As the saying goes "if you shake it more than twice you're playing with it". :lmao:
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. militaryhorn

    militaryhorn Prediction Contest Manager

    :popcorn::facepalm::confused2::idk:
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Mr. Deez

    Mr. Deez Beer Prophet

    A "preventative over-shaker?" That sounds like something from a Seinfeld episode. I laughed at that.

    My brother used to say, "you can jump and you can dance, but the last drop will end up in your pants." I don't think 3 or 4 shakes will completely nullify that wise proverb developed over thousands of years of history. They might help, but they won't solve the problem. (In other words, you're actually just playing with it.)
     
    • Like Like x 3
  11. Mr. Deez

    Mr. Deez Beer Prophet

    I've noticed that urinals in Europe have this problem somewhat less, and I wonder if this issue is less present for dudes who are uncut.
     
  12. Joe Fan

    Joe Fan 10,000+ Posts

    Ever been to the mens room Rainbow Room in NYC?
    Great view from the urinal
    You dont want to leave
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. Joe Fan

    Joe Fan 10,000+ Posts


    This was somewhat addressed in a Good Charlotte song

    [Verse 3]
    Shake it once, that's fine
    Shake it twice, that's okay
    Shake it three times
    You're playing with your self again
    (You, don't wanna be just like you)
    What I'm saying is
    This is the anthem, throw all your hands up
    Now you can feel me, sing if you're with me
    You, don't wanna be just like you
    (Just like you)
    This is the anthem, throw all your hands up
    Now you can feel me, sing if you're with me
     
    • Like Like x 2
  14. Brad Austin

    Brad Austin 2,500+ Posts

    Always liked that song actually. Was featured in American Wedding, my hands-down favorite installment in the American Pie collection.

    I bet Harvey wishes he'd produced that one. :smile1:

    [​IMG]
     
    • Like Like x 2
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2017
  15. Joe Fan

    Joe Fan 10,000+ Posts

  16. Horn6721

    Horn6721 10,000+ Posts

    Shocked I am






    Not
     
    • Agree Agree x 1

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