How do you married folks (or non-married couples living together) divide up the household chores? If one of you works and the other does not, does the non-working spouse do 100% of the chores? How did you determine who does what? I have been married about six months and we are just trying to iron out the details of everyday living. I'm curious as to how other couples manage their household and how it works for them.
Ive been on both sides of this, so I'll give you my take. Since kids arent involved Id say most of the regular housework should be taken care of by the non working spouse. If you're a working male and your wife is too girly girl for lawn and handy man stuff, you take care of the heavier stuff. That doesnt mean the S.A.H. spouse is your slave. Pick up after yourself, and take a shift every now and then. If you put in your 45-50 hours a week and you dont have to lift a finger, you're not helping enough. If your spouse is jobhunting.......all bets are off. That could be a full time job in and of itself. Maintaining a household w/o kids should be no problem for a stay at home spouse. This is not sexism, since Ive been the "stay at home". If it appears that a Stay at home spouse isnt pulling their weight its probably because they arent great time managers and need a little advise on how not to get distracted and fall into a pattern of laziness. For some people its Oprah/dr phil, with me it was hornfans and the internet. Once I was shamed in to realizing I was a slug. I promised myself i wouldnt even turn on the computer untill 3pm. The place was tip top from then on. This is a huge bone of contention among many couples so tread lightly. Perspective can be skewed, so if it doesnt seem 50/50 exactly, let it go. Sometimes fighting is more work than doing (in your mind) a little more housework.
we both just do what needs to be done when it needs to be done, except i lean more towards the outside stuff and the woman the inside stuff.
"we both just do what needs to be done when it needs to be done, except i lean more towards the outside stuff and the woman the inside stuff." This... except I cook almost every other night.
we've been married 1.5 yrs. i work from home and my wife is a teacher. she came up with the idea that the inside is her job and the outside is mine. that's completely fine with me. however, i take random breaks during the day and end up doing the dishes here and there. she handles all the laundry all the time. and she also does the grocery shopping. we both cook and we both clean up after cooking. the way i see it (and she does too, as she helps with yard work when it's big), if i help and it gets done quicker, all the better. summer time is a little different. when she's home for holidays and whatnot, she's usually on top of everything.
I do most outside work, fold laundry, a lot of the cooking (one of my hobbies). On weekends I vacuum, scrub bathroom, and take on little projects here and there. Surprisingly, it seems that teh chores one of us hates are no bi deal to teh other. My wife can't stand to sort and fold socks, and I have no problem with it. I don't like the dishwasher, but she doesn't mind it. The secret is being willing to help out and having a positive attitude about it.
I have never understood sorting and folding socks. I have three colors, brown, black and white. The colors are all the same make. I put the white to one side of the drawer, the black in the middle and the brown on the other side. I came to this about 12 years ago, when I was sorting white and black socks, I couldn't figure out why? I still don't know why?
When we had all the kids at home years ago, I'd do a little here and there inside and all the outside work. The kids all have had to pull their weight - and this didn't just include keeping their rooms cleaned. Now, we just have two left at home and they have a couple of chores, but my wife does the rest of the inside work. I take care of the outside stuff. I ******* hate housework.
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We have things divided up by who dislikes something more. The hubby hates grocery shopping, so I do the grocery shopping-- but he has to take care of the animal poop-- cat box and dog poo outside. I know I prob. spend at least twice as much time on grocery shopping as he does dealing w/ poo, but I hate that so much that it's an even trade. Whoever cooks in our house, the other has to clean up. When it comes to Laundry, it just depends on what's going on. If LHF68 is working, I'll usually take care of it and not bother him. If it's the weekend, we'll both do it. When the whole house needs to be cleaned-- which we do roughly every 2 weeks, we both tag team it. If there's lawn involved, we either both do it or one of us works inside while the other does out. Ya just need to figure out which things each of you is anal about, (I can't stand for the kitchen counter tops to be dirty, so I always clean them,) and which things you hate less. Don't get bogged down on actual time and all that... make decisions that seems far to you.
We both work and there are no "assigned" chores. When something needs done the one at home or feeling best does it. Every other week we have a maid come and do the deep cleaning. In the end it all works out. Things are much easier now that I have a kid old enough to ride the lawn mower and another one old enough to rinse dishes and load the dish washer without breaking them.
i do all the grocery shopping and cooking, my wife does the dishes and cleans the kitchen my wife does the laundry, makes the bed and does the light cleaning and daily tidying around the house cleaning lady comes in once a week for the deeper cleaning i do the yard, plant beds and vegetable garden, my wife does the flower garden and all the potted plants on the porches i pick up the dog poop in the yard and walk the dog most times, she gives the dog baths and cleans the cat box in the garage i drop off and pick up the dry cleaning and the shoes at the shoe shine place, she is in charge of getting supplies like paper towels, dishwasher soap, shampoo, dog food, etc. for the house at target/costco/pet smart works ok for us. of course, i love cooking and working in the yard, so i don't mind most of my chores
Been married a year today. we both just do what needs to be done. I am a teacher so my wife probably takes care of more than me during the school year but I do almost everything during the summer. We will be buying a house soon so Im guessing the lawn stuff will be my job (which is fine with me). I think it helps that we both like to cook. One person cooks, the other does dishes. One person starts the laundry and puts it in the dryer, the other takes it out and hangs it up. Etc.
Cleaning ladies come every other week. I do most of the cooking and the kitchen clean-up. We split the laundry but my wife does more than her share of the folding. My wife does all the financials and weekly bitching about how I make it hard for her. I usually do the grocery shopping, but we will often do it together as we come home from an activity. I mow the grass (1.7 acres) and she takes care of the beds. I take care of the animals in the morning. She takes care of them in the evening and takes care of the litter pan. My wife does a lot of dog shows, so I do most of the chores the weekends she is away. Pay-back comes in the summer when I am in Europe for June.
In your case, you should do all of the inside house work, dishes, laundry etc. and outsource the yard work. But I'm hungover every morning, shut your mouth.
We have it pretty much I do the inside he does the outside. He also does his own laundry and helps inside here and there. Just having him pick up after himself is help enough.
My wife is transitioning back to work after a 6yr sabatical now that our youngest is in FT school. While she was a SAH mother she took on most of the chores. I kept to putting unloading the dishwasher and some of the laundry. She did virtually everything else including the yardwork. Now that she's back to work it's more 50/50. With that said we've finally been driving the 3 boys (6,8,10) to be MUCH bigger contributors around the house including the dishes/cleaning more than their rooms/bathroom and toy room. I'm also looking forward to the yardwork I can glean from them.
I miss our last exchange student. She actually did a lot of the chores. And she was also a great cook.
Well i do most of the chores. Due to our schedule my wife is spending time with her daughter in the evenings and me during the day so this gives her a bit of her time.
