March 23, 2001 College Station , Texas Texas A&M’s Genetic Research Department today announced the first successful cloning of an Aggie football player, that was given the name Ja’Mini Toombs. Ja’Mini was cloned from the brain cells of former Aggie running back and NFL hopeful, Ja’Mar Toombs. “It was a difficult procedure due to the fact that we had very little brain cells with which to work with”, said research director Dr. Erifnobon, who added, “Ja’Mini has shown all the mental maturity of Ja’Mar but in a more convenient and compact smokeless package.” Although the only thrill rides that Ja’Mini is eligible to ride are in front of the Bryan Walmart due to his 4’3” stature, he shows great promise to provide many a thrill to the Aggie football fans. “Ja’Mar was a run between the tackles kind of back, where Ja’Mini is more of a run between the tackle’s legs kind of back” said Head Football Coach R.C. Slocum, who has been pleased with his new walk-on’s tailback’s performance in double secret practice sessions. Many of the defensive players we spoke with remarked that Ja’Mini was difficult to tackle due to his low center of gravity and the poor fabric quality of his Toys’R’Us Aggie replica uniform that he wears. A&M students are relieved that they won’t have to abandon the popular “Tooooooooooombs” yell during football games. “We had been practicing yelling, Whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitaker and Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeber, but they just didn’t sound right”, said 8th year senior Butch Scrodman. “I’d like to see the cute little feller ride out onto our sacred Kyle Field on the back of Reveille next fall”, added Scrodman who then pleaded with us to mention in the article that he is non-homosexual in case his “cute” comment was somehow misconstrued.
Unfortunately, the good Dr. Erifnobon resigned amid controversy for his criticism of the structural engineering department. I'd have to be weird, To grow me a beard, Just to see what the rednecks would do.
Excellent. You and Mind Control Ag need to start your own satarical website- no, wait a minute, just stay on this one.
Nice work Stan. However, Ja'Mini's forearms are not really big enough for him to play for the Fightin Texas Aggies. Hook 'Em
The sad thing is, Ja'Mini looks to be in better shape than Ja'Mar ever was. I guess he hasn't discovered Wings N More yet. "The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man sending back soup at a deli."
"Alabster is a small guy but he'll mess you up. No offense, but he's from Oklahoma." -Hank Hill - The Link <---Mustang-Fans.com
Great work, Stan - you've got the gift. I bet those "between-the-legs" running backs aren't easy to find, especially the "smokeless" variety. Cloning may be the only answer if that's what you're looking for. Hook 'em.
There's the face of an extraterrestrial in his abdomen. "The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man sending back soup at a deli."
Hehe, did they use the Genetic Savings & Clone? it's over off Longmire .. Only here in College Station could there be such a place.. Been tempted to take a look around .. Forever Hookin' Em Hook'em Horns
