are you ready for the big freeze tonight?

Discussion in 'Esther's Follies' started by The Peoples Elbow, Jan 14, 2007.

  1. The Peoples Elbow

    The Peoples Elbow 250+ Posts

    i am posting this from a nuclear fallout shelter that i have built at an undisclosed location, well below the surface of the earth. i have stockpiled 20 years of food and water, as well as guns and ammunition. i have also kidnapped three healthy females of breeding age, in the event that it becomes my responsibility to repopulate the earth.

    we all know what we are facing over the next couple of days, and i don't have to tell you that the prognosis is grim. it appears that we will be confronted with an environmental disaster, the scope of which hasn't been seen since an asteroid struck the earth millions of years ago and killed all the dinosaurs. imagine that times 1000. there will be temperatures possibly even below 30 degrees, and that we might very well see the eradication of every species on this planet.

    i come to you today, not as a longhorn, or a texan, or even as an american, but as a human being (i.e., representing everyone but people from oklahoma). i know that most of us won't live out the week. for those, if any, who do survive this disaster, i will contact you on a frequency that i designate on this website, so that we may make plans to rebuild our society.

    this is the people's elbow, coming to you in what may be my last communication, from severe weather disaster bunker x362-uk1, wishing you all good luck.

    hook 'em
  2. gobears92

    gobears92 Guest

    does ou suck more or less in your bunker than from above ground?
  3. Butch Coolidge

    Butch Coolidge < 25 Posts

    I'm going to tough it out above ground with a stockpile of beer, canned fish, and a bunch of old Redbooks.
  4. Bevoette

    Bevoette 1,000+ Posts

    I hope you packed your favorite blankie.
  5. Traffic

    Traffic 500+ Posts

    I've got leftover chili to last 'til Tuesday and enough wine for two fortnights.

    I'm a survivor
    I'm not gon' give up
    I'm not gon' stop
    I'm gon' work harder
    I'm a survivor
    I'm gonna make it
    I will survive
    Keep on survivin'
  6. yourlordarileus

    yourlordarileus 250+ Posts

    whats the big freeze i keep hearing about?
  7. Used2btexaslover

    Used2btexaslover 250+ Posts

    We have extra beer in the fridge and taco soup on the stove. [​IMG]
  8. Macanudo

    Macanudo 2,500+ Posts

  9. lazytexasfan

    lazytexasfan 100+ Posts

  10. orange_pride

    orange_pride 100+ Posts

    are you hoping we don't have school this week? i am, i am.
  11. Macanudo

    Macanudo 2,500+ Posts

  12. Staley

    Staley 100+ Posts

    OMG it's starting. We're at 31 degrees......
  13. Mike_Tyson

    Mike_Tyson 500+ Posts

    Humans taste like chicken.

    Will Pete Carrol survive? He didn't have 30 days to prepare.
  14. capnamerca

    capnamerca 500+ Posts

    Post of the day ... at least up until 0926.

    Good luck and godspeed, TPE. We'll see you on the other side.
  15. Steel Shank

    Steel Shank 1,000+ Posts

    TPE, make sure you have purity of essence.
  16. HornGrandioso

    HornGrandioso 500+ Posts


    Beware of this beast.
  17. GHoward

    GHoward 2,500+ Posts

    my toes got a little chilly for awhile. I put on some socks. all is well.
  18. Orange&White

    Orange&White 1,000+ Posts

    I am currently holed up here in the 78759 with a dozen ( minus few) Krispy Kreme Donuts, A handle of Glenlevit and three movies that I picked up on Saturday. There's a little leftover chili, but supplies are dwindling. If this ends up being my final post, someone come recover the remaining scotch and put it to good use.
  19. KaiserSoze

    KaiserSoze 250+ Posts

    Excellent post... and it accurately represents the news coverage out here today. My favorite has been all the city council and mayor's office hype (all day news conferences) on the public access station.

    I have plenty of booze here... and am working from home today, and probably tomorrow as well, even though my office is only 3 miles from home... although for some reason I'll probably treat drinking the booze as my primary job.
  20. Tyler Durden

    Tyler Durden 500+ Posts

    you better watch out for manbearpig
  21. Traffic

    Traffic 500+ Posts

    He's right....half man, half bear, half pig!
  22. OrangeBlooded

    OrangeBlooded 500+ Posts

    where's the pool at?

  23. LonghornLawyer

    LonghornLawyer 500+ Posts

    I'm not as hearty as you, TPE. I just don't think I can live in the post-Apocalyptic world that will emerge tomorrow when the temperature gets above 32. So I have migrated to my office downtown to face my final hours with a quiet dignity--at my station to the very last, billing my clients (and likely continuing to bill them for at least twenty hours after my death) while the frigid 8 knot north wind wipes the last vestiges of human civilization off this God-foresaken prairiescape.

    God Speed, TPE, for I feel the mildly chilly grasp of death upon me . . . .
  24. GHoward

    GHoward 2,500+ Posts

    TPE, you should make a movie about your experience. I already thought up a title and drew up a poster for it. I'm assuming Michael Bay will be directing:

  25. gobears92

    gobears92 Guest

    Soylent Green is people....
  26. The Peoples Elbow

    The Peoples Elbow 250+ Posts

    can't.... type... too... colddddddddddd
  27. Macanudo

    Macanudo 2,500+ Posts

    Hang in there trooper. The fate of humanity rest with you.
  28. VoodooChi|d

    VoodooChi|d 500+ Posts

    Power just went out for ~5 minutes here... I guess I'm on the same grid as KXAN b/c theres did too...

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