Asian Elevator Etiquette

Discussion in 'Esther's Follies' started by Hornin Hong Kong, May 21, 2008.

  1. Hornin Hong Kong

    Hornin Hong Kong 1,000+ Posts

    When waiting for elevator take no notice of anyone also standing near said elevator.

    Feel free to walk in front and stand in front of anyone waiting for an elevator even if there is only 2 people waiting and the original person has 6 inches clearance from person to door

    If you are on the elevator immediately smash the button to close the door. Outwit elevator software if you are on floor 10 by pushing 10,11, 12 and 13 to trick the elvator into thinking 4 people are on the elevator so the coose door will function (mostly not needed, usually functions regardless)

    If you see someone coming to the elevator hit close door more agressively. Do not make eye contact, but do not stop.

    Speak on cell phone loudly when on elevator. If you are female giggle a lot.

    When elevator stops do not attempt to allow people to get out unless it's an enraged large westerner. Shronk to the side and avoid eye contact if this is the case but dont proactively move.

    Once westerner gets off mash button to close door (especially if someone wants to get on).
     
  2. gobears92

    gobears92 Guest

    I think a person entering an elevator should have to kiss-european style cheek to cheek- everyone in the elevator...just to reduce the tensions due to the bad music and smells and weirdness and nervousness...
     
  3. falloutboy

    falloutboy 25+ Posts

    When in the mainland, you are encouraged to smoke. Also, if anyone gets off the elvator before you, you've lost The Contest. This includes women and the elderly. If you lose to a girl, you've lost twice. [​IMG]

    PS, I'm a very large westerner, and although I'm very laid back, my size makes me appear enraged. This is an invaluable advantage not only for getting on an elevator, but also for standing in line at the bank. Or a restaurant, ticket office, the gym....you know, anywhere with a (optional) line.
     
  4. Ramathorn

    Ramathorn 1,000+ Posts

    Man, you should've seen the mess when we were trying to board a plane to China. No semblance of a line, people pushing, etc. I'm thinking "this plane ain't leaving without any of us, calm down."
     
  5. TexonLongIsland

    TexonLongIsland 2,500+ Posts

    You mean "the queue" didn't survive the hand over in '97?
     
  6. Hornin Hong Kong

    Hornin Hong Kong 1,000+ Posts

    Additionally, there shall be no gender recognition.

    Do not let women off first. This will enrage all the Asians on the elevator. Women are smaller, thus you can shove them out of the way and take up elevator real estate.

    I raged on a woman the other day. I had not brought my wallet and got a visitor pass. Before 730 u need to tap your pass on a reader in order to click your floor.

    I asked this lady to do it for me (in English then in Canto) . She responded by looking down and saying nothing. I proceeded to get furious. Another person came on and tapped it no problem.

    I said thank you and turned to the other lady and said "AND HF^&*(^(*&^%(&* YOU!!!!" (I had had enough Asia for the week)

    Which terrified both the victim and the goo samaritan. They were TRAPPED on an elevator with an enraged Gweillo twice their size.

    It id make me feel better tho.
     
  7. HatDaddy

    HatDaddy 1,000+ Posts

    tee hee hee..."too boo koo"...tee hee.
     
  8. KC-97HORN

    KC-97HORN 500+ Posts


     
  9. Dude

    Dude 1,000+ Posts

    How does one Shronk?
     
  10. Mrmyke709

    Mrmyke709 1,000+ Posts

    They bring this "no concept of personal space" thing with them to America.
    I've had Asians crowd me in the checkout lines at HEB....practically crawling up my back to get their groceries closer to the checker.
    I usually fart loudly to repel boarders.
     
  11. Steel Shank

    Steel Shank 1,000+ Posts

    Amen, Mrmyke, that **** drives me insane.
     
  12. LAktownhorn

    LAktownhorn 250+ Posts

    ok now lets start a thread about how black people are annoying. [​IMG]
     
  13. Texas007

    Texas007 1,000+ Posts

    Oh the damage I could do in this situation. I gotta feeling no one in Asia would ever want to ride an elevator with me. They's think I was some alien form there to eat them.
     
  14. accuratehorn

    accuratehorn 10,000+ Posts

    I can't tell you how I hate people who cut in front of you in any sort of line.
    I know there are cultural differences, and if I am aware of them, I try not to get bent out of shape by them-wasn't aware there was an Asian elevator cultural difference.
     
  15. evolujohn

    evolujohn 100+ Posts

  16. Steel Shank

    Steel Shank 1,000+ Posts

    This is why God invented elbows.
     
  17. Ramathorn

    Ramathorn 1,000+ Posts

    Google or youtube Chinese getting on train. Scary.
     
  18. Statalyzer

    Statalyzer 10,000+ Posts

    American Elevator Etiquette - If the elevator isn't arriving fast enough, go push the up/down button again. If it still doesn't arrive, start pressing the button repeatedly, as this will speed up the car's arrival. Once on board, you must always hit the button for your floor, sometimes multiple times, even if it's already lit up because someone else already pressed it, since this will get you to that floor faster.
     
  19. Hornin Hong Kong

    Hornin Hong Kong 1,000+ Posts


     
  20. Hornin Hong Kong

    Hornin Hong Kong 1,000+ Posts

    You would hate macau - in macu at say the blackjack table there are two betting circles, one for you and one for everyone lse.

    So literally if you are winning you will bet and like 5 people will all put money down on the second circle.

    You play the cards, they say nothing but they win or lose if you o.

    This necessitates arms and hands near your face, lots of hovering and interminable time spent on payouts.

    I typically don't get mad - it's their country and I just get used to it. It's funny though when I get back home I sometimes forget to let women off the levator first and get some 'are you from oklahoma" looks.


     
  21. The Muzzler

    The Muzzler 100+ Posts

    I have lived in Indonesia and Malaysia so I know a bit about proper South East Asia Elevator Ettiquite:

    1) When the elevator doors open, do not wait for the elevator to clear before entering. Get on immediately!

    2) Forget the "ladies first" rule. Look out for #1!

    3) Do not be concerned with pregnant ladies in the elevator. They do not require any more room than the average person.

    4) If you are a single, healthy person with no bags, trolley, kids, etc.....go ahead and use the elevator instead of the escalator or stairs. No need to accomodate expectant mothers, the elderly, handicapped, children, etc.

    5) Don't bother finishing your conversation with a friend before you board the elevator. You can always use the hold feature of the elevator to detain everyone else on the elevator while you finish your conversation.

    6) Don't worry if you are not sure of the exact floor you need to go to. Just press multiple floors.
     
  22. FondrenRoad

    FondrenRoad 1,000+ Posts


     
  23. TornACL

    TornACL 250+ Posts

    This is a fascinating subject to me.

    One time I was flying back to DFW on a business trip, stuck in the back of a jam-packed MD80. The flight was late arriving, so passengers were typically pretty surly.

    You know how the drill goes. The aircraft goes "DING!" and everyone jumps up and scrambles to get their bags out of the bin and get into the aisle, even though we're 25 ******* rows from exiting the aircraft, and we're going to be there a good 15 minutes, waiting.

    As everyone was packed into the aisles, I watched in amazement as this little old Asian woman started moshing her way ahead of people in the aisle. No one was going to get in her way. She squeezed around some, bumped into others, hitting everyone around her with her oversized bag.

    Finally she got up behind this rather large gentleman. She started to to push against his back, trying to get him out of the way.

    He fired around, looked down at her, and yelled, "MA'AM, WAIT YOUR ******* TURN!"

    I always thought it was funny that he was considerate enough to start his tirade with "ma'am".
     
  24. STLHornFan

    STLHornFan 25+ Posts

    Gaijen Smash is a pretty good website for the funny/odd moments of Americans living in Japan. It originally was called "I am a Japanese School Teacher" as the guy taught English in Japanese middle schools.
    The Link
     
  25. ptownhorn

    ptownhorn 1,000+ Posts


     
  26. Ramathorn

    Ramathorn 1,000+ Posts

    Letting go is the best thing to do. Like I said, you should've seen the rush to board the plane. I don't care when I get on, as long as I get on.


    I think they're just in a hurry to get to the next part of the day.




    BTW, everything mentioned has happened at Dell, just not as often.
     
  27. Hornin Hong Kong

    Hornin Hong Kong 1,000+ Posts

    Some mroe amusing things I've noticed. When you are buying anything techincal from locals, the salesmen know absolutely nothing abot the products they sell, even if they speak English.

    Case in point - I went into the B&O store thinking about buying speaker. All the dude could say was - 'these are the best'. Absolutely no reason as to why. I'm used to going into a store in the US and get chapter and verse about why.

    Asians (at least HK people) simply buy brands.

    I was trying to buy light switches for the house yesterday. The salesmen knew nothing about light switches. He could literally point me at the samples and hand me the catalogue.
     
  28. gsoda3

    gsoda3 250+ Posts

    so how good's your cantonese?
     
  29. Hornin Hong Kong

    Hornin Hong Kong 1,000+ Posts

    Not so good.

    My Fiance's is perfect however.
     
  30. ptownhorn

    ptownhorn 1,000+ Posts


     

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