Basic Things That You Don't Know ...

Every now and then I realize just how stupid I may really be. It came to my attention today that I really wasn't sure what exactly "AM" and "PM" stand for.

Thank you Interwebs search ...

"Ante Meridiem" ... "Post Meridiem".

 

I don't know how to tie very many useful knots and it always pisses me off when I have a use for something other than a square knot.

 

I discovered the correct spelling of my middle name at the ripe age of 28.

 

i really still have no idea why the sky is blue.

 

How bark was made out of a tree?

 

I still don't know how to ride/drive/shift (whatever you call it) a motorcycle. I can drive a standard transmission car, but not a motorcycle.

I also can't balance on skates of any kind, be it ice or roller skates. I was meant to be on my feet.

 

I still know - literally - nothing about cars. Nothing. I can read off sports stats like you wouldn't believe. But, cars? No.

I couldn't even figure out how to change a broken tail light bulb the other day. Makes going to the mechanic a real pain in the ***. I think they're laughing at me when I turn my back.

Also, the spelling of some words screw me up. Most of the time, after writing the word down, I can figure it out. However, the word "seperate/separate" I have to look up every time.

 

Nothing about cars and science. Really, not a lot about computers also. I also am not mechanically inclined. Had a hard *** time installing a car seat.


Ladies of the board, have I mentioned that I am now single?

 

I don't know how Jeff Goldblum hopped on the alien WiFi network in "Independence Day" when I sometimes have a problem hopping on my network at work with my work laptop.

Maybe it was because he had a Mac???

 

I don't know how to stop after just 4 beers.

 

This is the dumbest of dumb, but up until I was about 25, I didn't know what the deal was with the "Do Not Pass" and "Pass With Care" signs on the side of the highways was all about. I thought that it meant you weren't supposed to pass the sign, not pass other cars and I couldn't figure out why they were everywhere and why everyone just ignored them. Then one day, I realized that they cooresponded with the dashes and solid lines on the road indicating passing zones. I still can't believe that I was too dumb to figure that out for like 25 years.

 

I can't ever remember people's names when I first meet them.

 

I don't fully comprehend how awesome I am.

 

A friend of mine's girlfriend thought that the # in SPF was how many minutes you needed to reapply.

 

I dont know how to swim. I never learned when I was younger and have been taking group lessons this summer at the rec center with little success. Im an aquatic doofus.

 

I don't know how much OU sucks. I just know its impossible to measure!

 

Why is the sky blue?

Rayleigh scattering: this causes light to scatter when it passes through particles that have a diameter one-tenth that of the wavelength (color) of the light.

Sunlight is made up of all different colors of light, but because of the elements in the atmosphere the color blue is scattered much more efficiently than the other colors.

So when you look at the sky on a clear day, you can see the sun as a bright disk. The blueness you see everywhere else is all of the atoms in the atmosphere scattering blue light toward you.
(Because red light, yellow light, green light and the other colors aren't scattered nearly as well, you see the sky as blue.)

 

I don't know liquid and dry measures, like how many pints in a quart or how many teaspoons in a tablespoon. I have to look that up every time.

 

I don't know how to start my lawnmower. I can change a tire, change the oil in my car (including the filter), change the air filter, change the spark plugs, change the battery, change out the headlight, change the windshield wipers, change the fuses, change burned tail light bulbs, and last week I even changed the brake pads, rotors, and calipers on the rear brakes!! But I don't even know how to start my f'ing lawnmower. I guess that is what teenage sons are for.

 

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That's insane. How can you have all that mechanical stuff figured out but can't start a lawnmower?

 

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The ex-Mr. LdyLnghrn always did all of the mowing, and when he moved out, my boys were all into their teens and took over that duty. So, I've never had to mow the grass, and have never had to start the mower. I suppose that if I HAD to, I could figure it out. But as long as I have sons living at home, I'm not in any hurry to learn that particular piece of information.

 

I don't know how people enjoy the taste of Blue Cheese. Basically green mold.

 

I love blue cheese.

Not sure if this qualifies but, I've never played golf in my life.

Also, it's not basic but, how in the hell do they keep score in cricket? I've never seen anything so complicated in my life.

 

Speaking of scoring, I never knew how they came up with love/15/30/40, etc in tennis. Seems so much easier to go the first to 4 wins, or something like that.

 

For the record, the original poster's lawnmower is a real *****.

 

I never learned how to keep score in bowling. I don't know how to play poker and never did growing up. I don't know how to sew a friggin button on when it pops off. I don't know how to play fantasy football, baseball, etc. I never wanted to learn because it makes you watch the games for the "wrong" reasons.

geez, I didn't realize how inadequate I am.

 

I don't know what the word "notwithstanding" means. I didn't know it meant when I was in school and I don't know what it means today.

 

I'm a really good speller, but I've never been able to spell rythm, uh rhtythm, uh rhyhyhtm. Screw it. It's that thing that I don't have any of on the dance floor.