He is 40% cheeseburger, making it legal to eat him in 60 states. If you are in an elevator with him for more than two floors, you will take on his odor until you shower and your clothes are washed. Berman not only does not wear slacks when sitting at the NFL PrimeTime desk, he does not wear underwear, and that is why Tom Jackson often looks like he's revolted by the highlights they're watching. Four ESPN staffers have died as a result of Berman-hygiene-related injuries, but the Bristol DA is too afraid to take on Disney so Berman never gets charged with manslaughter. Berman once scored a hookup with some roadwhore in a bar by walking up to her and in between heaving breaths saying, "You're with me, leather". This worked so well he did the same thing with a bear in the woods a few weeks later but the bear has some standards and Chris struck out. Chris Berman was the inspiration for Wesley Willis. I do not like Chris Berman and I do not think he should be allowed to post on hornfans.com anymore.
