Dear Coach Fran, Thank you for your endless contributions of highlight films. Thanks to your pathetic defenses, we will never run out of footage of big plays. We have a supply to last us til your tenure at A&M ends, which we all know won't be for very long. Sincerely, ESPN
Dear Coach Fran, Just want to say thanks. Your hiring at A&M has removed our gigantic screwup from the worst all time ideas list. Sincerely, The guys who decided to try and sell a car called "Nova" in Mexico
Dear Jackie Sherrill or current head coach. Our records indicate your school's account with our company has been inactive for several years. We would like to keep your business, so we are offering you 5 free shipments to anywhere in the US. FedEx, Bryan/College Station division p.s. Please don't use them all on one recruit.
Dear Coach Fran, We received your letter seeking employment opportunities. There are several attractive options we would like to share with you. Ford motor company is still searching for someone to head up the diesel Edsel R and D team. New Coke is still being tweaked, and your management would insure the viability of this promising product line. Tha Apple Newton project should be a winner, as should the Olestra snack division at Keebler. Sincerely, Headhunter
Dear Coach Fran, Are you still living in the forest? If so please give me a call. Mike Tree Houses R' US
Dear Coach Fran, Just reminding you that our teams will meet on Oct. 28 this year here in Waco. You have the same number of days from now to prepare as I do. I ask that you please refrain from lame excuses as you exit our field this year and kindly remove my foot from your *** as I will need it back. With Regards, Guy Morris
Dear Coach Fran, Please stop telling people you invented Cheetos. Sincerely, Kelly Tullier Vice President, General Counsel Frito-Lay, Inc.
Dear Coach Fran, We have a nice clubhouse. We'll tell you the password after T+1. Sincerely, Bob Davie, John Mackovick, Mike Dubose, Kevin Steele
Honey, I hope you’re having a good day – I know you were depressed when you left the house this morning knowing that you were going to meet with Coach Arnell and talk about his defensive strategy and players. But I’ll tell you something that I’m sure will brighten up your day – I bought a whole new set of 12 towels for you to come home and use to cry on my shoulder this season! Love, Your wife
Dear Fran, Thanks for making me look like an idiot for picking you to win the Big XII... Up yours, K. Herbstreit
Dear Coach Fran Can you please change your name....??? Too many people are associating our delicious cheeseburgers with that slop that you put out every year. Thanks Fran
Dear Coach Fran, We all extend our best wishes for an excellent 2006 season for you and your tremendous squad. We want you to succeed at Texas agricultural & mechanical college and remain the HC there a long, long time. After all, if you were to leave this fine town, we would be forced to layoff many of our outstanding officers and our highly competent jail administration & staff due to a severe shortage of your players visiting our facilities and courtrooms. Sincerely, Chief of Police Bryan / College Station, Texas
Dear Coach Fran, I think your name is allsome. In fact, you should make it a registered trademark. Sincerely, Dan
Dear Coach Fran, It's hard to be the 12th when you don't even have 11 down on the field. Desperately, The 12th Man
Dearh Coach Fran, Hey! So, i guess the time has arrived for me to start using this myspace thing. I can resist it no longer.. Let the addiction begin! I took a gander though your "space" and well, I liked what I saw.. ;p Sooo they call me Steph. I think us crazy kids should probably be friends, cause you seem pretty fun, and interesting, and maybe even cute! (it's everso hard to tell in this crazy digital world.. anyways, i would go on forever, but I'd like to get an answer from you first! You should check out my other profile on this other site, I'm allllways on over there:The Link (my username is bcooper17). I probably won't be coming here everyday anyway. Then maybe we could chat sometime! you know what they say.. appearance captures the eyes, but personality captures the heart.. LOL! hope to hear from you soon, Steph
Dear Fran, I just loved you on your show "The Nanny"! I sure wish they would bring it back. At least do a reunion show... LOL!!!1!! A big fan, Jessica ps. You were great in UHF too! -edit... oops sorry.. I got your whiney annoying voice confused with someone else
Dear Fran, The rope you gave to the Tide players to hold is waiting for you in Tuscaloosa. 92,880 fans at Bryant Denny Stadium have applied for the job as the Hangman. It pays nothing but lordy what a great feeling knowing you are the one to pull open the trap door.
Dear Coach Fran, I haven't forgotten how you left Alabama. Sincerely yours, Gene Stallings Texas A&M Regent
Hoosier Horn, I think that was before Fran. Dear Fran, Since you haven't been able to beat the Longhorns, may I offer my services to the A&M football team yet again? Need I remind you that the Aggies haven't won a game against Texas without my help since Mackovic was coaching them? I'm also available next time Baylor comes to town. Sincerely, Dinesh Patel
Dear Coach Fran, The correct job sequence for becoming a national championship winning Texas A&M coach is to coach at Texas A&M FIRST to learn to deal with hopeless adversity and buffoonery, THEN coach at Alabama to win a national championship. You have gotten this exactly backwards. Sincerely, Paul & Gene PS Franny boy, you dang sure BETTER win 10 this year or you are toast. If you don't I WILL make sure you are rode out of town on a rail. I CAN make this happen. Love, Gene PPS and lay off them snack cakes, one 500 lb coach in the Big IV is enough. Gene
Dear Fran, Your program called. It's in despair. It didn't leave a number. Sincerely, The Guy on the Couch
