Civil war Capt Andrew Luck on Twitter was epic. He had over 500k followers. So, as homage to him ... Dearest mother ... of Coach O: It is the eve of our epic battle with our pesky neighbors to the west who constantly want to hold football camps in our beloved territory. So far, we have held the lines on such feeble insurrections. But Bevo has now redirected his forces. From across state lines, Colonel Cronin reporting. Recent events have not been so promising. Tonight, the herd of steers have imposed great casualties on your beloved tigers. Apparently, the baby steer is not so little anymore. Bevo gored UGA and wants even more SEC casualties. You must send more gumbo and rice & beans reinforcements for your troops. They are in great need. Oh furk, General Burrow has been captured ... it does not look good. Ok. cool. hook em. #Your loyal Colonel Cronin
Dearest Mother: It is with a saddened heart that I must report we succumbed to the enemy last night after an epic three and half hour battle. We sustained heavy casualties. We lost 45 men. However, we were able to take out 38 enemy troops. Despite the loss, our men fought hard in battle. In retrospect, we may have lost the battle in the first hour. We took our ground troops all the way to the enemy’s front line, well, a half a yard away, on 2 occasions early on. However, the enemy held their line strong and proud. I thought we had them once though when we snuck one of our men past enemy lines through the air. We tricked em momma! However, our man dropped the ball on his mission and was unsuccessful. The loss in battle resulted in disappointment in all our troops and even dissension in some. The malcontents are in the minority, thankfully. But, get this momma, some thought they knew warfare strategy better than me, their Colonel. Pffft. We were short handed because some of our best troops were injured in training missions before the battle. To improve morale, I shall take the troops to Houston next weekend. Reports from General Houston show a much easier battle there. Plus he promised good bbq for the troops. Stay well Mother. Give my best to Captain Andrew. Your loyal son, Colonel Cronin
