How do I eat a new sandwich?

Discussion in 'Esther's Follies' started by BostonRC, Jul 18, 2007.

  1. Horny04

    Horny04 100+ Posts

    Whatever you do man, if the sandwich starts to fall apart whichever way you decide to try and eat it, take it as a lesson that maybe you should move on to a different sandwich. There are so many sandwiches out there that look much easier to eat. I mean, look at that thing!
  2. VoodooChi|d

    VoodooChi|d 500+ Posts

  3. locohorn93

    locohorn93 100+ Posts

    Just looking at that picture gives me gas. Don't let us know how it came out.

    "Aint no [sammich] like new [sammich]."
  4. YuppiePrick

    YuppiePrick 25+ Posts

    Did you get those sandwiches in Vegas, UTGal?
  5. next2naus

    next2naus 500+ Posts

    Listen, I know right now this all seems new and exciting but I urge you to be careful, use a napkin. Eat them all, Sandwich's, Po-'Boy's, Sub's, Hoagies, even Mufelata's, hell experiment and see what tastes best to you

    Just don't go overboard and get into weird condiments and fixin's. You're not into Wraps are you? not that there's anything wrong with that.
  6. UTGal

    UTGal 100+ Posts

    No YuppiePrick, found those fabulous sandwiches right here in good ole Austin, Texas.

    Okay, while I didn't actually 'pay' for those sandwiches - they weren't cheap sandwiches. They were 'loaner' sandwiches.

    Not to be confused with 'loner' sandwiches that ride red bikes with bells.
  7. Benson32

    Benson32 1,000+ Posts

  8. Steel Shank

    Steel Shank 1,000+ Posts

    Maybe the Bob Bullock Museum can show a movie called "The Great Sandwiches of Texas".

    I'd go.
  9. HornMafia

    HornMafia 100+ Posts

    Look, your obsession with this sandwich and refusal to let it go just reminds me of...

  10. hullabelew

    hullabelew 1,000+ Posts

  11. UTGal

    UTGal 100+ Posts

    Geez, I hate it when sandwiches start to fall apart on me...but there's nothing worse than the 'emotionally unavailable' sandwich down at Scholtz's.
  12. longhornmatt

    longhornmatt 25+ Posts

    Thank you for posting that picture, BostonRC. That's quite a hog you have there. I was skeptical about whether or not it deserved a profound name like Flowing River of Life, but I can see now that it does. Frankly, I'm surprised that sandwiches aren't just throwing themselves at you when you're on that thing.

    More importantly, this still picture of you in a staged, non-threatening environment leads me to believe that you are probably not an axe murderer, which is I'm sure the message you were trying to get across in posting it. To be honest, I assumed you were an axe murderer when you first came to us for help. I think everyone did. It's just the first thought that pops into most people's heads when someone asks them for advice. But now you have convinced me I was wrong about you being an axe murderer, so I feel more comfortable about helping you.

    However, I think I still need to know more about you before I can recommend the best possible way to eat that sandwich. Do you have any talents or hobbies? For example, are you good at archery? If you are, that would demonstrate a great ability to focus, which is a big turn on for sandwiches.

    Sandwiches often say stuff like, "Oh, I like guys who can make me laugh, who are fun to be around even if we aren't doing anything, blah blah blah," but they don't mean any of that crap. Sandwiches want a guy who would order them 5 times in a row using various methods even when the store is sold out, or a guy who would watch over them secretly for 20 years even if someone else bought them. Guys like that make sandwiches feel secure.

    Finally, don't worry if it seems like you are taking a long time to eat the sandwich. Several months is nothing in the grand scheme of things, because the window of opportunity to eat a sandwich stays open forever. The important thing is that you cover all your bases and make sure everything is perfect when you do eat that sandwich. Just keep working with us, and we'll have you eating that sandwich in style a month or two from now.
  13. gooeyduck

    gooeyduck < 25 Posts

    So this is where everyone moved to. So I guess,number 5 is alive!!
  14. Punt on 1st Down

    Punt on 1st Down 100+ Posts

    So it continues ...

    I think I'm going to walk around in my back yard for a while and then come back inside and make a sandwich.

    I have some fixings ... it'll probably be tuna fish. Mmm, tuna fish. I have some mayo and some carrots that I might shred to mix in with it. Then I might throw some spinach on it to top it off.
  15. SuperHero

    SuperHero 500+ Posts

  16. bozo_casanova

    bozo_casanova 2,500+ Posts

    Look man, I hate to break this to you, but that sandwich has been around. I used to have that sandwich late at night after drinking when nothing better was available. Me and two of my friends even shared it one time.

    Don't get me wrong, it was good, but nothing you want to commit to. Not the kind of sandwich you'd take home to mom.
  17. ERhine

    ERhine 250+ Posts

    All I'm gonna say is use protection man. Make sure you have a napkin, don't just chance it.
  18. jt09

    jt09 500+ Posts

    f**k napkins. Just eat your sammy in a hot tub and wash that ***** down w/ a coke. No worries.
  19. Luke Duke

    Luke Duke 1,000+ Posts

    It seems that Bozo and I might roll in the same circle. That sandwich has been passed around to many a dude after a long night of drinkin' at the Boar's Nest.
  20. bigup2dahorns

    bigup2dahorns 250+ Posts

    sandwiches come and go. don't get too wrapped up on one particular sandwich. for every sandwich you might think is the new greatest, i've seen better at the union. and there's more than one way to each the sandwich, according to some round here. there's a special word for it
  21. UTGal

    UTGal 100+ Posts

    Begin at the rear and work your way can never go wrong by working your way up from the bottom. (For all who know me, I am working without a z) [​IMG]
  22. miguelito

    miguelito 250+ Posts

  23. PhatAtUT

    PhatAtUT 100+ Posts

  24. PiGuy

    PiGuy 250+ Posts

    What makes it Australian?

    Does it have egg on it? If you want to honor its heritage, I suggest it be eaten with Tomato Sauce. Everything is eaten with tomato sauce down under, including eggs.
  25. UTGal

    UTGal 100+ Posts

    Oh, it's an Aussie alright....of course it's missing it's shiny wrapper, but I can still tell by the size....and no tomato sauce...a cream based sauce, please.
  26. Mrmyke709

    Mrmyke709 1,000+ Posts

    I've been around the block...many times.
    I can tell you, any intense relationship with a sandwich eventually turns into ****.
    Let it go, man....let it go.
  27. gooeyduck

    gooeyduck < 25 Posts

    Sandwiches....can't live with 'em....can't live without 'em.
  28. Steel Shank

    Steel Shank 1,000+ Posts

    Here's a hottie:

  29. po elvis

    po elvis 250+ Posts

    i would start with the 6" and work your way up to the 12".
  30. huge

    huge 250+ Posts


    how does the mouth take that length?

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