How prepared are you for a zombie infestation?

Discussion in 'Esther's Follies' started by CleverNickname, Dec 17, 2007.

  1. CleverNickname

    CleverNickname 500+ Posts

    I'm pondering about keeping some 3/4 inch plywood cut to my window dimensions for when I need to hunker down. For the zombies. Maybe sheet metal? I have not told my wife about this plan. She'll probably think I'm crazy. Or she might be encouraging, which means she is crazy. Either way, there is no way my house as is can keep out a determined zombie. Too much plate glass, and from what I know about zombies, drywall aint enough. I suppose that I could hide in the attic in a pinch. Maybe take the chainsaw up there in case I need to cut a hole in the roof. Maybe keep some water up there, and maybe some food pre-positioned. Pull up the ladder and they can't you. And we will need a radio. Problem is that it's gonna get damn hot up there in the summer. So I keep going back to the plywood idea. Although with zombies, it might be best to have both defenses. I could try to keep supplies to bug out with the pick up in the garage. But I am not sure where I would go. We have some land, but I'd hardly call it Zombie proof. I guess someplace relatively uninhabited, like maybe west Texas. Should I store some extra 5 gallon tanks of gas, maybe rotate them every so often? That's a lot of work. Its just so damn hard to be zombie prepared these days. If I get a custom house it'll be a two story concrete block house, with a wooden staircase the entrance. So the zombies can't get us. Fire codes might be a problem, sometimes I think those city hall fascists want my brains to be eaten. I can hardly get any work done. Between the sudafed buzz and the zombie worry. So I turn to you, hornfans, for better zombie preparation tips. I've done my research. I read World War Z. Its nearly impossible to get a silenced .22. I wouldn't want to shoot them unless I had to, I don't want to stir up any zombie chains. I heard that some people in hurricane areas use torx screws, because fewer looters can undo those screws. That's probably not too much of an issue during a zombie invasion, unless they are smart zombies. I suspect zombies would be able to pry off any plywood anyway, on account of the zombie strength. But maybe covering the windows and doors will keep them from knowing fresh brains are home. I dunno. There is so many zombie related contingencies its hard to keep track of.
  2. Mike_Tyson

    Mike_Tyson 500+ Posts

    mez2 is best prepared.
  3. crackamacgowski

    crackamacgowski 100+ Posts

    I think Adam West had it right in Family Guy. Just fill graves with cement and we're golden.
  4. ElJefe

    ElJefe 100+ Posts

    I finished Resident Evil 2 in a couple of days
  5. Viper Daimao

    Viper Daimao 100+ Posts

    all you need is a sawed off and a chainsaw for a hand.

  6. Mrmyke709

    Mrmyke709 1,000+ Posts

    Zombies hate paragraphs.
  7. MilkmanDan

    MilkmanDan 1,000+ Posts

  8. KC-97HORN

    KC-97HORN 500+ Posts

    see, the real question here, is

    which type of zombies do you have to look out for?

    Are they the super-strong, run through glass, and rip open nailed walls type zombies- otherwise known as the unstoppables (minues headshot)?

    Or are the more docile types going to be around- you know, the ones that only get mean if they see you, if you are hiding behind drywall, they wont go after you (otherwise known as the Hero makers- since they only seem to show up towards the end of the infestation and the hero outsmarts them)/

    Or last, but not least, are you trying to defned against the smart zombies, the ones that still retain enough thought to figure out a way to get around doors and traps just quick enough to bite the "resident moron" in your hunting party.

    Cause if you get all 3 types coming after you at once, you are ******....
  9. hornfanuk

    hornfanuk 100+ Posts

    Take car. Go to mum's. Kill Phil - "Sorry." - grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How's that for a slice of fried gold?
  10. tex-horn

    tex-horn 100+ Posts

    Do the referenced "zombies" melt in daylight?
  11. CleverNickname

    CleverNickname 500+ Posts

    Ok, the chainsaw is definitely in. I totally missed the potential for its direct application. Its a craftsman, should I upgrade to a Husqy or a Stihl? What is better at cutting through rotting flesh?

    As far as the type of zombie: I want to be ready for all zombie scenarios.
  12. SubliminalHorn

    SubliminalHorn 500+ Posts

    There's a girl in the garden
  13. Knoxville-Horn

    Knoxville-Horn 1,000+ Posts

    YES! The Winchester! I hear the jukebox plays Queen.
  14. Macanudo

    Macanudo 2,500+ Posts

    We need to build us one of these:


    Cut all the trees down out to about 2000 meters. Load up on claymores, automatic weapons, Barrett .50 cals and food. We could survive inside for 6-12 months (at a minimum) depending on the number of people we let in.
  15. kangsta

    kangsta 500+ Posts

    These always work well in the movies:

  16. Orange&White

    Orange&White 1,000+ Posts

    I would suggest going to hideout in a place that is so far removed and horrible that not even zombies would go there. The first place that came to mind was oklahoma. Then, after thinking about it, I decided that at that point, you may as well just let the zombies kill you.
  17. SuperHero

    SuperHero 500+ Posts

    I've watched the Thriller video 100 times and know how to do the zombie walk. Those ******** will never know the difference.
  18. 2farfromhome

    2farfromhome 25+ Posts

    I think if you just wear a helmet, the zombies have little chance at actually getting to your brain.
  19. Jackie Treehorn

    Jackie Treehorn 25+ Posts

    Suppose you completely zombie-proof your house. Your biggest enemy at this point is your human weakness and poor judgment. Are you going to be tempted to help the poor kid alone crying in the street? All the dog-lovers on hornfans would be zombie fodder the moment they see a pooch wandering alone hungry and whimpering.

    Your best bet is to become a cold and calculating survival machine. It's you vs. the world. If Newt could do it, so can you.
  20. kujotx

    kujotx 500+ Posts

    It is times like these that I envy Aggies' being genetically zombie-proof.
  21. crackamacgowski

    crackamacgowski 100+ Posts

  22. MissingInAction

    MissingInAction 100+ Posts

    Have you ever been to Georgetown TX? The zombies here drive lincoln continentals, and love them some McD's value menu.
  23. Panda Lobotomy

    Panda Lobotomy < 25 Posts

    You definitely need to think more seriously about your transportation situation. You might be able to stay in your house or up in your attic for 6 months to a year with the right supplies, but eventually you'll be forced to move on. You're in good shape with a truck (assuming it's an off-road capable 4x4 and not an urban-warrior-grocery-getter) with some extra gas reserves.

    There are, however, some problems that you'll have to address during your eventual flee and resettlement in the heavily guarded "normals only" colony. First, the roads are going to be clogged with cars abandoned by their owners whose heads were pillaged for brains. Second, your noisy truck will attract many, many zombies, so plan your route carefully. If your destination can safely be reached without the need to refuel, you're in good shape. If not, you will probably have to think about a secondary form of transportation.

    Certainly under no circumstances should your secondary transportation be your feet, unless you want to end up served as tête d'homme, zombie style. We all know that zombies, despite their admirable relentlessness, are rather slow and not particularly bright. Because of their lack of footspeed, a motorbike (noisy, needs gas, but quite quick and can cover varied terrain) or a mountain bike (quiet, human powered) should be kept in the bed of your truck when planning your escape. Other possible secondary forms of transportation include skateboard or segway, however the latter is not recommended unless used simultaneously with a bluetooth headset.

    It's good that you are thinking about how to survive the initial terrifying first few weeks of a zombie attack, but don't forget to plan for you and your family's long term survival as well.
  24. Lonestarman

    Lonestarman 100+ Posts


    ******* amateurs. Join the club. Your ******* troubles will be over, Dude.
  25. jadedscenester

    jadedscenester 100+ Posts

    I can't believe you guys are talking about zombie attacks. zombies aren't even real. the real threat is robots. they're everywhere, and when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free because they're made of metal, and robots are strong.
  26. formermav43

    formermav43 250+ Posts

    Your best bet in terms of transportation is to have a good bicycle on hand. You have the advantage of not having to refuel and being virtually silent. Some have advocated the horse as a means of transportation, and while I wouldn't rule it out, you then have to A)feed the horse and B)worry about it being spooked by zombies. Be sure you're out training on your bike now so you'll be ready when the time comes.

    As far as weaponry, remember that, with zombies, rate of fire is not as important as accuracy. Fully automatic weapons only enocurage you to waste ammo. You want to have a good rifle, probably a handgun, and a hand to hand weapon, like a machete or axe. All of these have potential benefits and drawbacks. Use what feels comfortable for you and plays to your strengths. As with the bike, training is the key: practice with your weaponry 3-5 days a week and keep it in optimum condition.

    Finally, remember the most important rule of all: zombies cannot climb. Always destroy that ladder or staircase behind you and, with enough food, your safe until help arrives or you can break out.
  27. Mrmyke709

    Mrmyke709 1,000+ Posts

  28. happy fun ball

    happy fun ball 100+ Posts

    Honestly, and I may get flamed for saying this, I don't think any zombies have super strength. They just don't feel pain, so they can go 100% (not 110%) all the time till their arm or rotator cuff snaps.

    Me, I plan on joining in. I'm going to let one bite me on the left arm, then I'm going to shoot him in the head just as soon as he does it. Then I'll be a zombie, but without being all disfigured and chewed on. I'll get plenty of zombie *****, with most of the other zombie guys having been attacked and ****** up during their induction.
  29. bozo_casanova

    bozo_casanova 2,500+ Posts

    To get back to the original poster- I'm not so worried about the zombies, because I've got two large, type A, dogs who are unafraid to engage, but smart enough to do it the right way.

    I'm also have rations and clean water on hand, along with a defensible perimeter surrounded by open space and plenty of ammo.
    Oddly, 22LR hollowpoints, while inappropriate for human defense, are a great round for zombies, because the limited power means you minimize the risk of exit wounds with infected brain tissue, which makes post-conflict sterilization a snap.
    Plus I live in Buda, and we're pretty well armed out here in general.

    In any case, I'm more worried about the quislings.
  30. austintex

    austintex 500+ Posts

    Yeah, but honestly, zombie ***** isn't all that. You have to do all the work -- the zombie chicks just lie there and moan.

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