Involuntarily picking up hitchhikers while jogging

Discussion in 'Esther's Follies' started by A. BETTIK, Jul 22, 2010.

  1. A. BETTIK

    A. BETTIK 1,000+ Posts

    During my decade or so of jogging I've been honked at, yelled at, chastised for not wearing enough reflective material, whistled at by men in cars (obviously homosexual), whistled at by women in cars (obviously drunk), yelled at some more, leered at like I was about to get capped by a couple of Sopranos, enlightened by shooting stars, greeted by my elders, asked what time it was by those waiting for the bus, nearly attacked by leashed dogs, messed with by passels of teens with nothing better to do and greeted countless times by members of the local deer population.

    Last night I was jogging with .7 miles to go in my nocturnal cursus honorum when I picked up the unwanted hitchhiker.

    As my left foot rose up behind me it mysteriously came down with a pebble sized piece of gravel perched between the top of my shoe and outside part of my ankle.

    The whole experience kind of played out like a relationship. Time passes and we get closer as the pebble works its way down into my shoe. I begin to worry what vulnerabilities life will bring when the pebble achieves a more personal lodging underneath my heal. I am relieved when it happens to find I can deal with it, the sole of my shoe has ample cushioning.

    The pebble now works its way toward the front of my shoe, underneath the arch of my foot and I find this to be the best moments of my relationship with this pebble. I could go on forever like this without being hurt.

    Unfortunately this doesn't last and the pebble illogically moves towards my big toe and seems to lodge there leaving me mixed up inside. I find myself thinking more and more about the end of my jog but wonder if I stick it out whether I will get a blister and how much it will hurt at the end. Maybe I should stop now and end it.

    It turns out to be not so bad. I get home, dry off under a fan, and sit on the bed to take my shoes off. I have to shake and whack the shoe to get the pebble out. Tired, I don't even notice where it lands on the floor and know I will sweep it up next time I clean.

    One should always have a good book to read after ending a relationship, which is just what I did before going to sleep.
  2. smwhorn

    smwhorn Guest

    you misspelled heal.
  3. Longhorny630

    Longhorny630 1,000+ Posts

    run barefoot
  4. accuratehorn

    accuratehorn 10,000+ Posts

    Have you considered a hobby, like making replicas of the Eiffel Tower out of popsicle sticks?
  5. darius

    darius 500+ Posts

    "nocturnal cursus honorum"? Are you seeking political office on your evening runs?
  6. Perham1

    Perham1 2,500+ Posts

    Nice little short-short-short story.
  7. Burnt Orangeman

    Burnt Orangeman 1,000+ Posts

    Per the beautiful Genesis song, if you throw a pebble into the water, the ripples never come back.

    If you drink a bottle of Ripple it may very well come back.

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