Juvenile Humor

Discussion in 'Esther's Follies' started by Chop, Apr 10, 2019.

  1. BevoJoe

    BevoJoe 5,000+ Posts

    Q. How does an aggy do a disappearing act?

    A. Aggy bends over, puts his head by his butt and then jumps.
    • Agree Agree x 1
  2. SunBurntOrange

    SunBurntOrange 500+ Posts

    Teacher is going around the classroom asking the kids to give a sentence using the word "fascinate".

    Little Suzie stands up and says "Last summer we went to NASA in Houston and was really fascinated by the space shuttle exhibits". Teachar replies "Great sentence, but you used a different version of the word. I just want the word fascinate".

    Little Bobby stands up and says "On spring break we went to Sea World and thought the killer whales were really fascinating". Teacher replies "again a great sentence, but again a different version of the word. I just want the word fascinate only".

    Little Johnny has his hand raised high for a while, but teacher knows to avoid him if possible. But with nobody else to call on, she reluctantly allows Johnny to give it a try.

    "Okay Johnny, give me a sentence using the word fascinate".

    So Johnny stands up and very proudly proclaims "My babysitter has a sweater with ten buttons on it but her tits are so big she can only fascinate"
    • Funny Funny x 7
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2019
  3. Chop

    Chop 2,500+ Posts

    Q: What happens when a Longhorn marries an Aggie?

    A: Their kids are Red Raiders.
    • Funny Funny x 1
  4. BevoJoe

    BevoJoe 5,000+ Posts

    Question: What does a constipated accountant do on the toilet?

    Ans: He works it out with a pencil
    • poop poop x 2
  5. theiioftx

    theiioftx 2,500+ Posts

    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Winner Winner x 1
  6. Chop

    Chop 2,500+ Posts

    He was fixin' to blow the place up.

    On occasion I use the "fixin' to" phrase with Yankees just to confuse them and get a laugh.
    • Funny Funny x 2
  7. Statalyzer

    Statalyzer 10,000+ Posts

    Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates."In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
    The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on."It represents a candle", he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.
    The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".
    The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked,"And just what do those symbolize?" The man replied, "These are Carols."
    • Funny Funny x 5
  8. theiioftx

    theiioftx 2,500+ Posts

    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Winner Winner x 1
  9. BevoJoe

    BevoJoe 5,000+ Posts

    Q: What should you do if you are addicted to sea weed?

    A: Sea Kelp
    • Funny Funny x 1
  10. mchammer

    mchammer 5,000+ Posts

    A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
    Little Larry says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest *****, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."

    The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from Little Larry, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson...

    "And how about you, Sarah?"
    "I wanna be Larry's *****!"
    • Funny Funny x 3
  11. BevoJoe

    BevoJoe 5,000+ Posts

    Q: How does Moses make tea?

    A: Hebrews it.
  12. Sangre Naranjada

    Sangre Naranjada Winebibber

    womp womp
  13. Chop

    Chop 2,500+ Posts

    What is it that makes you so sick from drinking way too much beer at the Cinco de Mayo party?

    A Corona virus.

    • Like Like x 1
  14. BevoJoe

    BevoJoe 5,000+ Posts

    • Funny Funny x 1

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