Juvenile Humor

Discussion in 'Esther's Follies' started by Chop, Apr 10, 2019.

  1. Chop

    Chop 5,000+ Posts

    A crew of flight attendants spent the night at an airport hotel across the country from their home. One was a blonde, one was a brunette, and one was a redhead. The next morning, the redhead and brunette arrived at the gate on time to work the flight back home. They urgently called the hotel desk who transferred them to the blonde’s room. “Why aren’t you here? The flight is leaving soon and you’ll be in trouble!” The blonde, hysterically exclaimed: “I can’t get out of my hotel room. There are three doors. One is for the bathroom, the second is for the closet, and the third has a sign that says do not disturb.”
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  2. horninchicago

    horninchicago 10,000+ Posts

    Are you kidding? I don't ever want to have to fly a 737. The Airbus is soooooo nice and easy compared to that relic.

    Plus, I'm 5 1/2 years in and a captain. Would have to start over and maybe never upgrade to captain before retirement in 12 1/2 years.

    I also know you were joking.

    :fiestanana:
     
  3. Chop

    Chop 5,000+ Posts

    How did the Scotsman break the news to his Texas Longhorn daughter that her favorite player, WR Jake Smith, had transferred?


    "Ahhhhh lass,
    No Jakes"


     
    • poop poop x 1
  4. Chop

    Chop 5,000+ Posts

    So the prima donna new actress gave the movie director an earful as nothing was up to her lofty standards. She smarted off sarcastically to all the director's ideas and suggestions. The entire morning of filming was wasted. At lunch, the producer asked the director how the morning went with the new actress, to which the director replied:

    "All sass, no takes."



     
  5. Chop

    Chop 5,000+ Posts

    Since it's Arkansas week:

     
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Vino Bevo

    Vino Bevo Wine - how classy people get drunk

    I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I want to see which one comes first.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  7. Sangre Naranjada

    Sangre Naranjada 10,000+ Posts

    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
  8. Vino Bevo

    Vino Bevo Wine - how classy people get drunk

    A fleeing Taliban terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.

    Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack - selling ties.

    The Taliban terrorist asked, "Do you have water?"

    The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5."

    The Taliban terrorist shouted hysterically, "Idiot Infidel! I do not need such an over-priced western adornment. I spit on your ties. I need water!”

    "Sorry, I have none, just ties - pure silk, and only $5."

    "Pahh! A curse on your ties! I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you but, I must conserve my energy and find water!"

    "Okay," said the little old Jewish man. “It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me, or that you hate me, threaten my life, and call me infidel. I will show you that I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need. Go In Peace."

    Cursing him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away, over the hill.

    Several hours later, he crawled back, almost dead, and gasped, "They won't let me in without a tie!”
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Vino Bevo

    Vino Bevo Wine - how classy people get drunk

    The guy who gets shot out of the cannon goes to the manager of the circus and says, "I quit. I can't take it anymore. Getting shot out of the cannon is noisy and filthy and when I land it hurts. I can't do this anymore."

    The manager says, "You can't quit! Not many people are as good as you at this and can fit into the cannon. Where am I going to get another person of your caliber?"

    (Rim shot)
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
  10. Vino Bevo

    Vino Bevo Wine - how classy people get drunk

    Just found out that Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. The whole family is pretty upset, but no one's taking it harder than Grandma.
     
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    • Like Like x 1
  11. Vino Bevo

    Vino Bevo Wine - how classy people get drunk

    A Priest, a Minister and a Rabbit walk into a blood bank.

    The rabbit says that it might be a type o.
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  12. Vino Bevo

    Vino Bevo Wine - how classy people get drunk

    A woman in Nashville was accused of attacking and beating her husband with some of his prized guitars.

    From the bench, the judge asked her, “First offender?”

    ”Oh no, Your Honor,” she replied. “First a Gibson, then the Fender.”
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  13. Chop

    Chop 5,000+ Posts

    Keep 'em coming. You're cracking me up.

    :lmao:

    [​IMG]
     
  14. Chop

    Chop 5,000+ Posts

    In a small village in Northern Ireland 1969--

    A Protestant man passed away while the Protestant minister was away. The family couldn't get a hold of the Protestant minister from the neighboring town and the corpse was several days since death. So, in desparation, they asked the village Catholic priest: "Can you officiate the funeral, even though he's from a different church?" The Catholic priest was taken by feelings of compassion and said, "I'd love to help out, it would be an honor, but I first have to check with my Archbishop."

    So the Catholic priest calls the Archbishop and asked: "Can I bury a Protestant?"

    The Archbishop replied in a loud voice: "Bury as many Protestants as ya can!!!"

    [​IMG]
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