Mack turns pro

Discussion in 'On The Field' started by 13evO, Feb 26, 2008.

  1. 13evO

    13evO 500+ Posts

    With OU’s 2005 victories being reinstated, Mack Brown’s professional record increases to 3-2 during his tenure at the University of Texas. Here’s a breakdown of his record:

    2004 – 0 wins, 1 loss
    Texas loses 12-0 versus the Adrian Peterson-lead Sooners. Peterson was given special benefits from Big Red Imports to come and play for the Sooners. Other benefits given by OU boosters to Peterson and his family are not yet known to the public. The official story is that Peterson’s mom paid for the lease from Big Red Imports.

    2005 – 2 wins, 0 losses
    Coach Mack has his best year yet in the pros. His team manhandled the Rhett Bomar/JD Quinn-lead Sooners 45-12. Bomar and Quinn were paid by OU boosters for work they did not do at Big Red Imports.

    Later, in a MNC Exhibition game between the amateur Longhorns and the professional Trojans, Mack leads a talented Texas squad to victory over semi-pro USC. It was very reminiscent of USA Hockey’s victory over the USSR in the 1980 Winter Games. Or, the Toledo Mudhens victory over the New York Yankees in Brewster’s Millions.

    In this game, professional athlete Reggie Bush helped the Longhorns turn the tide by passing the ball away to the Longhorns. Bush’s family was allowed to live rent-free by Bush’s prospective agents at the time.

    2006 – 1 win, 0 losses
    Once again, Mack Brown’s Longhorns thumped the Adrian Peterson-lead Sooners 28-10. Unlike Billy Pittman’s penalty for driving a friend’s vehicle, Peterson was never suspended for driving a car free of charge. If I test drove a vehicle from Charles Maund for a month, they’d call the police and have me arrested.

    2007 – 0 wins, 1 loss
    Though Bomar & Peterson were gone, the unknown list of Sooner pros defeats Mack Brown. Freshman criminal mastermind Ryan Broyles is the lone OU football player with enough genius to gain access to a key and code for an Oklahoma gas station. My first month at college, I didn’t know what or where Mopac was. This guy’s on campus a month, and he figures out how to get free gas? Police & the NCAA suspend further investigation due to lack of evidence.

    With a pro winning % of .600, Mack Brown must be tempted to test the waters in the NFL.
     
  2. Orange&White

    Orange&White 1,000+ Posts

    Brilliant!
     
  3. horngrad03

    horngrad03 250+ Posts

    I laughed.
     
  4. alden

    alden 1,000+ Posts

  5. Truck's Son

    Truck's Son 500+ Posts

    Awesome. But should we include Mack's record against the Troy Smith-led OSU Buckeyes? Afterall, wasn't Mr. Smith receiving monetary compensation during the 2004 football season? I would think that would qualify the Buckey's as a professional organization in at least 05, if not 06 as well.
     
  6. TheContractor

    TheContractor 250+ Posts

    i love it.
    we might want to go ahead and include every year mack has played blOU b/c one way or another they have done something to cheat. it is still going on in Norman, just maybe not at Big Red Sports. Same with USC too.
    Great Post!
     
  7. cochamps

    cochamps 2,500+ Posts

    nicely played...
     
  8. 13evO

    13evO 500+ Posts


     
  9. toughandcool

    toughandcool 100+ Posts

    well played, sir
     
  10. LongIslandIceSIP

    LongIslandIceSIP 500+ Posts

    funny stuff haha
     

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