The economy is so bad......

Discussion in 'Esther's Follies' started by SunBurntOrange, Oct 8, 2010.

  1. SunBurntOrange

    SunBurntOrange 500+ Posts

    It's sooo bad........

    .Jury Duty is now considered a good-paying job.
    .I got a pre-declined credit card offer in the mail.
    .CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
    .Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
    .My ATM gave me an IOU!
    .A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
    .I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.
    .I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with the purchase was a bank.
    .If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
    .McDonald's is now selling the 1/4 ouncer.
    .Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
    .Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned the names of their children.
    .My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
    .Motel Six won't leave the light on for you anymore.
    .A picture is now only worth 200 words.
    .They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street."
    .When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
    .One of the casinos in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

    And, finally...I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...
  2. accuratehorn

    accuratehorn 10,000+ Posts

    Some of those of pretty funny-I laughed. Unfortunately, they are too true.
  3. Longhorny630

    Longhorny630 1,000+ Posts

    i deliver pizzas with a bs in engineering. wait, thats not funny, thats reality. im not any good at this, or engineering apparently.
  4. TigerPride

    TigerPride 1,000+ Posts

    Be patient'll all turn out all right.
  5. A. BETTIK

    A. BETTIK 1,000+ Posts

    The economy is so bad, people are standing behind George Bush wherever he goes, hoping for free shoes.

  6. huisache

    huisache 2,500+ Posts

    I'm so broke that if turkey was selling for ten cents a pound, I couldn't afford a raffle ticket on a jaybird's ***.

    Tom McGuane.
  7. yourlordarileus

    yourlordarileus 250+ Posts


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