The opinionated stay at home mom

Discussion in 'Quackenbush's' started by Uncle Rico, Feb 5, 2008.

  1. Uncle Rico

    Uncle Rico 1,000+ Posts

    Is there anything more annoying than the over-opinionated stay at home mom? I know a few women who stay at home who think that any woman who would take their child to daycare or even a parents day out program are satanic. To me, that's about as short sighted and ****** of a way to look at and judge other moms as you can get.

    I'm all on board with the movement over the last 50 years (roughly) of women pursuing high-level positions in whatever profession they choose. The benefits to women's addition to the workforce rocks (especially if hot) from a social, economical and educational standpoint.

    So why is it that a stay at home can't comprehend why a woman making $75k per year on a career she's worked hard at go back to work and forego the cash for her family? As a male I somewhat understand the mother's issue with not staying with your kids but why the f**k is this such a black and white issue for some?

    For the record, my wife is a stay at home mom who loves her job. I think it's harder than my job but I would be super pissed if my wife was a ***** about others not making the same choice.

    Is it just me?
     
  2. notreally

    notreally 1,000+ Posts

    your post lacks the specific kind of information like, " my wife's fatass friend..." or " my stay at home next door neighbor is a sorry *****".

    it makes it hard to care.
     
  3. tropheus

    tropheus 1,000+ Posts

    the crux of good parenting -- being the best parent you can be in the situation you are given. some kids are better off in day care or pre-school. some kids need it. some kids parents are so bad *** they should be home schooled. some parents... the list can go on and on and on. There are millions of different situations and different people out there. There is no one size fits all. Be the best you can be in the situation given, not in theory, not in academic discussions, but in stone cold reality.
     
  4. The Bone

    The Bone 100+ Posts


     
  5. Art Vandelay

    Art Vandelay 500+ Posts

    I agree, but to be fair, I've also heard working mothers ridicule women who choose to forego a career to stay home with the kids. That's not any better.

    Bottom line is that it's a choice. There's no right or wrong answer, and every situation is different.
     
  6. Macanudo

    Macanudo 2,500+ Posts


     
  7. VacantlyOccupied

    VacantlyOccupied 500+ Posts

    Nope, the worst kind of pushy stay-at-home moms are the ones that go out of their way to exclude working moms from activities. They're the ones that volunteer for their kids' schools or church or whatever, and organize all of the planning and other parent activities so they happen during business hours. They want their kids' schools and other activities to be their own private club.

    Then there are the ones that have like 75,000 message board posts....
     
  8. MilkmanDan

    MilkmanDan 1,000+ Posts


     
  9. Beau Vine

    Beau Vine 1,000+ Posts


     
  10. judgroybeanbag

    judgroybeanbag 500+ Posts


     
  11. alden

    alden 1,000+ Posts

    Two things:
    People tend to rationalize their choices so that they believe that they made the correct decisions.
    People tend to assume other people think like them and that what's best for them is best for everybody.

    There are lots of people like this. For some reason, opinionated stay at home moms tend to be some of the more annoying ones.
     
  12. Ahab

    Ahab 100+ Posts

    Um, yea. The opinionated working moms are just as bad.
     
  13. Macanudo

    Macanudo 2,500+ Posts

    The overly opinionated stay at home mom is the Aggie of parenthood. They are good at some things but think they are better at others than they really are. They look down on those who are not like them without realizing that they are not really better, just different.

    Oddly, most of the women that I have met that fall into this category are usually college educated. They have overly-inflated opinions of themselves and tend to think that their **** doesn't stink in all areas of their lives. They were the ones giving out parenting advice BEFORE they had kids. When they were in the workforce, they thought they were under-utilized or should have had positions they were not qualified for.

    Now that they stay home, they have directed that "me first" attitude toward their children. And every one else is wrong. Justlike when they were in college or working.
     
  14. Uncle Rico

    Uncle Rico 1,000+ Posts


     
  15. OrangeChipper

    OrangeChipper 1,000+ Posts

    Alden has spoken... End thread. Excellent post.
     
  16. bozo_casanova

    bozo_casanova 2,500+ Posts

    My perspective is that working moms are typically just as bitchy to stay at home moms. I think it's because there is a lot of cultural baggage involved, and I think women feel judged by other women no matter what they do, and get defensive.

    It's too bad, too, because if they'd stop judging each other this wouldn't be an issue. Hell, I don't judge Mac- I wish I had the option.
     
  17. Bob in Houston

    Bob in Houston 2,500+ Posts

    It definitely cuts both ways -- the stereotype is that working moms think stay-at-homes are lazy/stupid.

    But the stay-at-homes also can dominate the school organizations and make it clear to the workers that their efforts are not wanted or appreciated.

    I mark it down to women being naturally catty and just finding different outlets for it...

    ...except for my wife, of course... [​IMG]
     
  18. ousuxndallas

    ousuxndallas 500+ Posts


     
  19. austingirl25

    austingirl25 25+ Posts

    I think most women with kids really struggle with this decision. I know it's been really difficult for me. I am not particularly career-driven, but I like my job and work for a great company that offers great benefits (we'll be using mine when this baby arrives). I'm going back to work not because we absolutely couldn't afford it if I didn't, but because we believe that we can provide the best for our children if I do.

    It makes me really sad when people say things like "We put our family before money when the wife decided to stay home." I don't think it's all about simply having more money. I think having two happy parents who aren't stressed about money is important. I don't think day care is the devil either -- in fact, I love that my kid will learn to socialize with other kids every day and have a set curriculum his teachers will follow when he's at "school." And to be completely honest, I think stay-at-home moms have a really difficult job and I'm not sure I'd be up for it.

    I'm not sure if I'm being clear. I guess I'm just trying to say it's never (ok, rarely ever) as black and white as some people think it is.

    And to answer the OP, yeah, overly opinionated SAHMs can be really annoying. That's my pregnant woman/future working mom opinion. [​IMG]
     
  20. NCAAFBALLROX

    NCAAFBALLROX 1,000+ Posts

    Our hard part is that we both work AND our kids don't do any day care. We get (maybe) about 5 hours a week out of my Mom & zero out of the wife's family.

    It's a constant struggle for me to get any work done; the wife has a night job 3x a week, but my sked is "flexible" but not really because being a self employed person (& for the most part, a one man band with a crew that I can pull on within a generically reasonable schedule for jobs that call for that many persons), I try to be @ the quick end of a phone call if a customer calls.

    I'm fervently awaiting the day that the Mini Me is 3+ & Tex is 5+... then my Mom won't have as much of a problem watching them for us (she's got some physical limitations with her back).

    The rough part is my S-I-L (who has the now 5 year old) acts like it's an easily achieveable thing, however up til age 3, she had full time baby care 'cause they were living with my wife's parents.

    My wife & I can't even go out for 5 hours together 'cause we don't have a "long term" babysitter (& for that one, I blame the wife because she won't let go of the boy yet... he's just past 1).

    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
     
  21. dfw75201

    dfw75201 250+ Posts

    Are these the same moms that think they don't have to stand in lines because they have kids with them and you don't?
     
  22. bobtheking

    bobtheking 100+ Posts

    I only read the op but seeing as how my son just graduated from memorial high... I definitely know where you're coming from.
     
  23. crayon1973

    crayon1973 500+ Posts


     
  24. HoosierHorn

    HoosierHorn 500+ Posts


     
  25. Statalyzer

    Statalyzer 10,000+ Posts


     
  26. orange avenger

    orange avenger 25+ Posts

    You must be talking about Ashley Sanchez.
     
  27. Uncle Rico

    Uncle Rico 1,000+ Posts


     
  28. TheFied

    TheFied 2,500+ Posts

    I think that the real key is the "opinionated" anything. Opinionated people in general are obnoxious. I just tend to nod my head and stop hanging out with them.
     
  29. midtown

    midtown 1,000+ Posts

    My wife goes back and forth. Sometiimes she wants to be a stay at home but even after the two months off from having our son she was in dire need of brain work. It probably doesn't help that she spent two years and $100k on an EMBA.
     
  30. THEU

    THEU 2,500+ Posts

    My wife and I moved in May and I started a new job at the beginning of June. We decided that we would start trying to have a child. Well, it took one time and we took care of the starting a family. We are due on March 28th and we are going to let it be a surprise whether it is a boy or girl. We are both SO excited about having our first child.
    Before we moved I worked full time and my wife had a part time job that brought in decent money, but nothing outrageous. When we moved I got a fairly decent raise and we made the decision that while we got the new house settled and all that my wife would wait on getting a new job. Then we did the immediately pregnant thing mentioned above. So it has been since May that my wife has worked. At first she was pretty sad about this and really missed her old job (she worked with youth and really missed the kids), and she really felt like she didn't have a lot to do. I tried to be as supportive as possible and even encouraged her to volunteer more and take the opportunities she had to do some fill in work at a local real estate office. She did that some, but has not adjusted to being home full time, even before our child has been born. So much so that just a couple of months ago she was going to do the fill in job for a full day and she was dreading it because she has gotten used to the flexibility she now has. She is no overly opinionated stay at home mom, but I think that we are both glad that we have made the decision we have. I think there are women who do work because they feel it necessary to 'prove' themselves in some way to others and wish they could quit, and others who really have no desire to stay home. I agree that it is not a black and white issue at all, but wanted to take a few moments to share my (and my wife's) point of view.
     

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