Things you should never do

Discussion in 'Esther's Follies' started by Hornius Emeritus, Dec 16, 2009.

  1. Hornius Emeritus

    Hornius Emeritus 2,500+ Posts

    I thought that we could kind of make a repository of things that you should never do, a collection of hard-won knowledge that future generations could use. The only rule is that you have to have learned your lesson from personal experience.

    So here's mine:

    Never go camping, reach into your shaving kit in the darkness, dig around in it for your toothpaste, put the toothpaste on your toothbrush, and discover after-the-fact that your toothpaste was, in fact, actually hydrocortisone cream.

    The result is not pretty.
  2. Bluepies

    Bluepies Guest

    You don't tug on Superman's cape
    You don't spit into the wind
    You don't pull the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger
    And you don't mess around with Jim
  3. OldHippie

    OldHippie 2,500+ Posts

    Never play cards with a man named Doc.
    Never eat at a place called Mom's.
    Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.
  4. TexasAirForce

    TexasAirForce 25+ Posts

    Never fry bacon naked....just sayin...
  5. overmaars

    overmaars 1,000+ Posts

    Never tell your boss to eff off, unless you don't mind being unemployed for a spell.
  6. AUinAustin

    AUinAustin 250+ Posts

    Never fight a guy named Tiny
  7. bevosayshi

    bevosayshi 250+ Posts

    Never take a laxative and sleeping pill at the same time....they just might nickname you "fudge".

  8. BigWill

    BigWill 2,500+ Posts

    never fly Hong Kong to the US in economy.
  9. LdyLnghrn

    LdyLnghrn 100+ Posts

    never eat homemade chili and drink warm cold duck at the same meal.
  10. smwhorn

    smwhorn Guest

    never ever try to have a calm, coheret, logical, and unbiased conversation with an aggy about their university.

    do i win?
  11. MaceHorn

    MaceHorn 100+ Posts

    Never take advice from somebody more screwed up than you are.
  12. AstroVol

    AstroVol 500+ Posts

    There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

  13. Smurfette

    Smurfette 500+ Posts

    Never date someone who says all their ex's are crazy. Cause it's not the ex's who are crazy...

    Never trust a calico cat.
  14. washparkhorn

    washparkhorn 2,500+ Posts

    Cleaning a clogged lawnmower or snow blower should only be done when the engine is stopped.

    Wish me luck - going out to throw snow right now with this:

  15. HornBud

    HornBud 2,500+ Posts

    Never buy glue in a package that is remarkably similar to your eye drops.
  16. Smurfette

    Smurfette 500+ Posts

    never wash your face with Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
  17. sylvester

    sylvester 25+ Posts

    Never get on a train to a Red Sox game with a friend named Smurf whose wearing a Yankee jersey and hat. [​IMG]
  18. accuratehorn

    accuratehorn 10,000+ Posts

    Don't piss on the electric fence out in the back forty.
  19. TXSNOS

    TXSNOS 1,000+ Posts

    don't sue your employer and expect to keep your job
  20. ACuriae

    ACuriae 500+ Posts

    Never sleep with your best friend's sister...unless you plan to marry her or are already married to her.
  21. hooklahoma

    hooklahoma 1,000+ Posts

    Never do psychedelic mushrooms if you have something to do the next day.
  22. HousHorn09

    HousHorn09 2,500+ Posts

    Never bet a Gooner that all Texans are smarter than all Okies.

    They'll pull an aggy out of their *** every time. DU-OOH!

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