Yo Momma....

Discussion in 'Esther's Follies' started by Handler XIII, Mar 10, 2008.

  1. Handler XIII

    Handler XIII 1,000+ Posts

    So I particpate in a few "big brother" type programs and was returning a few kids home after a baseball tourney today and some of the kids in the back seat started up a "Yo Momma" war. I figure it's a good link on Hornfans.

    My 2 favorites:

    "Yo momma so fat, when she desses up in a red dress the whole neighborhood comes up to her asking her where's the Kool-aid"

    and my favorite...

    "You momma's so ugly, the Denver Zoo put up her picture in the monkey cage to keep the monkeys from jacking off"

    I told them I would get a greatest hits for them so any help would be appreciated.
     
  2. ctrl+alt+del

    ctrl+alt+del 500+ Posts

    Yo mama's so short, when she farts, she burns the back of her neck.

    Yo mama's so old, she's in Jesus' yearbook.
     
  3. campwillben

    campwillben 100+ Posts

    Yo momma's so fat, she don't wear Rocky Mountains, she wears Himalayas.
     
  4. judgroybeanbag

    judgroybeanbag 500+ Posts

    yo momma so fat, the back of her neck look like a pack of hotdogs.
     
  5. Michtex

    Michtex 1,000+ Posts

    Yo momma so fat, they issued a flash flood warning when her water broke.
     
  6. Bevo5

    Bevo5 1,000+ Posts

    Yo momma so fat she has to shop at the Hole.

    Does that one work? Just came up with it.
     
  7. Dude

    Dude 1,000+ Posts

    Yo mama is so fat she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
     
  8. pescado_rojo

    pescado_rojo 25+ Posts

    yo momma so fat, when she cut her hand, gravy came out.
     
  9. OrangeChipper

    OrangeChipper 1,000+ Posts

    THE best one of all time - mid 90's.


    "Yo mama so fat that when she wear her 'x' jacket --- Helicopters keep tryin' to land on her back."
     
  10. bobtheking

    bobtheking 100+ Posts

    Yo momma's so fat when she puts on a yella slicka people yell "TAXI TAXI"
     
  11. ptownhorn

    ptownhorn 1,000+ Posts

    your momma is so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck

    your momma is so fat she uses pillow cases for socks
     
  12. txboy_in_az

    txboy_in_az 100+ Posts

    Yo Momma so fat she uses mattresses as maxi pads.
    Yo Momma coochie so dry the crabs carry canteens.
    Yo Momma so fat her belt size is equator and her blood type is Ragu.
    Yo Momma so fat she has her own zip code.
    Yo Momma so fat, when I got through bangin' her, I rolled over twice and I was still on the *****.
    Yo Momma so fat, her high school photo was an aerial.
    Yo Momma so old, she farts dust.
    Yo Momma so fat, when she wears heels, she strikes oil.
     
  13. AuburnTexas

    AuburnTexas 100+ Posts

    Yo momma's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.

    Yo momma's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

    Yo momma's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

    Yo momma's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
     
  14. Jive_Turkey

    Jive_Turkey 1,000+ Posts

    Yo momma so fat, when she heard it was "chilly" outside, ***** grabbed a spoon.


    I gotta look up some more. All we have here are yo momma so fat. There's some good yo momma so dumb ones.
     
  15. theropods

    theropods 250+ Posts

    [mchawking] Yo mama is so fat, she wears a trashbag for a sock, She's so hairy she looks like she has Buckwheat in a head lock.

    Yo mama is so ugly, the dog won't give her fleas, you could stick her face in dough and make monster cookies.[/mchawking]
     
  16. 12thStudStan

    12thStudStan 250+ Posts

    Yo momma so ugly bigfoot takes pictures of her.
     
  17. El_Oso

    El_Oso 500+ Posts

    Yo mama so ugly she makes UNBORN babies cry.

    Yo mama so fat her driver's license picture drinks Slimfast.

    Yo mama so dumb she thought her hard drive was the time she couldn't find the grocery store.
     
  18. Dionysus

    Dionysus Idoit Admin

    Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put some fries on layaway.

    Yo momma so fat she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
     
  19. txboy_in_az

    txboy_in_az 100+ Posts

    Yo Momma so dumb, she tripped over a cordless phone
    Yo Momma so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
     
  20. Math Mudrat

    Math Mudrat 250+ Posts

    Also from the 90's:

    Yo mamma's so fat, she has to use a VCR for a beeper
     
  21. ctrl+alt+del

    ctrl+alt+del 500+ Posts

    Yo mama's cooking is so bad, the flies all got together and fixed the hole in the screen.
     
  22. HornGrandioso

    HornGrandioso 500+ Posts

    All of yo mommas are all most definitely fat and dumb, but let's not forget poor also.

    Yo Mamma is so poor, her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

    Yo Momma's so poor she uses cheerios as earrings

    Your momma's so poor she can't even pay attention

    Your momma's is so poor she chases the garbage truck with a shopping list
     
  23. NativeTXchic

    NativeTXchic 1,000+ Posts

    Yo mama's so ugly, well.. look at you!
    Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like you.
    Yo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama.
    Yo mama's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
    Yo mama's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
    Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
    Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.
    Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back shaking it's head.
    Yo mama's so ugly, when the terminator said "I'll be back" he left running.
    Yo mama's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.
    Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks.
    Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork.
    Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a track cleat.
    Yo mama's so ugly, she's uugly. I had to add another u `cause u is ugly too!
    Yo mama's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breastfeed her.
    Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she's been bobbing for french fries.
    Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.
    Yo mama's so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells her to get out.
    Yo mama's so ugly, she couldn't get laid in a prison with a handful of pardons.
    Yo mama's so ugly, her face is closed on weekends!
    Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the flies off a **** wagon.
    Yo mama's so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.
    Yo mama's so ugly, we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation.
    Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow quit.
    Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow ran away from her.
    Yo mama's so ugly, people at the circus pay money not to see her.
    Yo mama's so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down.
    Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she got hit with a bag of "What the f**k?!?!"
    Yo mama's so ugly, when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.
    Yo mama's so ugly, roaches go "Hi mom!"
    Yo mama's so ugly, she hurt my feelings.
    Yo mama's so ugly, Rice Krispies won't talk to her.
    Yo mama's so ugly, she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness.
    Yo mama's so ugly, her pillow cries at night.
    Yo mama's so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.
    Yo mama's so ugly, people make jokes about her.
    Yo mama's so ugly, I can't even make a joke out of it.
    Yo mama's so ugly, she climbed the ugly ladder and didn't miss a step.
    Yo mama's so ugly, Yo daddy tosses the ugly stick and she fetches it every time.
     
  24. theropods

    theropods 250+ Posts

    Yo mama is so ugly, she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

    ****Off Color Joke Alert****

    Yo mama is such a skank, she's like a bowling ball, you put 3 fingers in her and then throw her in the gutter.
     
  25. AtlLonghorn

    AtlLonghorn 25+ Posts

    Your mother is so fat she has a high risk of developing diabetes or other diseases related to obesity.
     
  26. axle hongsnort

    axle hongsnort 250+ Posts

    Yo mama's got a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.
     
  27. TX-EX_98

    TX-EX_98 25+ Posts

    Dig the Pharcyde. "Yo momma so fat... how fat is she..." Then something about Wendy's, but my memory has faded.

    Carry on.
     
  28. Texanne

    Texanne 5,000+ Posts

    Yo momma so skanky, she got a sourdough yeast infection.
     
  29. wolfman

    wolfman 1,000+ Posts

    Yo momma so ugly, she can make an onion cry.

    You momma so fat, she plays pool with the planets.
     
  30. El Sapo

    El Sapo Bevo's BFF

    Yo mamma is so fat : when she dances the band skips.
    Yo mamma is so fat : her bathtub has stretch marks
    Yo mamma is so far : I tried to drive around her and ran out of gas.

    That's all for now.
     

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