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Discussion in 'Esther's Follies' started by TheFied, Oct 3, 2008.
When you see a cop or soldier and think he really looks like a boy.
When you reach down to wipe your *** and your shoulder pops.
Less than a year after that, my kid broke his femur on the Midland school recess for 1st graders. Jessica's surgeon did the job on him.
He's 24. I'm old.
When one of the hot chicks you've been admiring at the pool swims over and says "Sir, can I bum a cigarette off of you." This I witnessed.
When your doctor or dentist is younger than you are. My dentist looks like a high school kid. He doesn't have the decency to age like a normal human being.
For the first 35 years of my life I never once sat on my balls. Now it happens daily.
When drinking water gives you gas.
When all women 10 years younger than you look "kinda hot."
Actually you reach a point where you just accept all that and go on down the road. Getting old sure beats the hell out of the alternative.
Then you learn to look at the glass half full. When I was much younger, only the younger women caught my eye. Now that I am gaining on the calendar, my vision has greatly expanded. Not only do all the younger women still catch my eye, I now cant help but notice that there are many mature women out there who are very eye catching also. Nothing like having your horizons expanded.
When the president is younger than you.
(Damn you McCain. Why couldn't you win!?!?!)
When you're 16 year old son's gf is babysitting your cousin's child for the weekend and you KNOW what is going to be happening in between 'babysitting'. Ouch.
Anthony Mason, Olden Polynice, Del Curry and Hersey Hawkins' kids are in college. A couple of the mas seniors.
I am 48 and here is the **** I have had happen since 37:
Tore a tendon in my thumb playing on a ps2 at 47.
Sat on my balls.
Pulled a leg muscle getting out of bed.
Muscle spasim opening a can of dog food.
During a leg cramp from getting out of my chair I hit my toe on the desk and knocked my big toe nail off then getting a staph infection.
When you're hiring people that were born after you graduated....Geez I think about getting old probably way too much and I didn't need this thread to remind me that life isn't fair and that it flies by way too fast but yes the alternative is even more gloomy.
When the Nike outlet store has their "classic" line of shoes on closeout. You buy the same running shoes you had in the 70's for a lower price in 2008. After running in them you no longer wonder why your feet and ankles hurt. The running shoes from the 70's were just a little better than running barefoot in terms of cushioning.
....when you see a wii Animal Crossing commercial and are thinking, "WTF!" "What grown woman is going to converse with a friend via the game about a make believe fireworks display or shopping trip?"
That has to be the most stupid commerical and game idea I have ever seen that is supposed to be aimed toward adult women. It is fine for 5-9 year old kids.
All I can say is God help us all if it really does appeal to adults. There must be more ditzy people who believe they are the head god/goddess of the fairies than I ever dreamed exist.
Agaiin, sheesh, whooboy, and wtf.
Just ear hair.
I'm regularly getting called "Ma'am" in public. I'm not yet thirty, and it kinda freaks me out.
"When you go to wipe your *** and your shoulder pops......."
You owe me a keyboard........time to wipe off the LCD screen. Greatness....just pure greatness.
when you find white nose hair.
I guess I first noticed it when surgeons who operated on me were younger kids I had known in the neighborhood.
A sobering thing is to calculate the percentage of your age to that of your father when he died. Glass more than half empty.
...when you're within 90 days of your 65th birthday and your junk snailmail consists of brochures promoting Medicare supplements.