You might be a redneck...

if you watch the one-hour Myth Busters episode entirely devoted to testing duct tape. Don't tell anyone I watched this.

 

i was watching rattlesnake republic. i think me and anybody who was watching hillbilly handfishin probably trump you on the redneck meter

 

No, no, it's when I watch the premier of "American Hoggers" next week, that will confirm it..

 

if you call celtis laevigata, hackberry, and discovered it makes excellent long lasting fire wood. Further, while enjoying your hackberry fire, you take great satisfaction in spoonin' buttered grits at night from a bowl also made of hackberry, which brings back memories of how attractive you found the bowl at an art show and slap knee hot damned the artist for his resorcefulness and creativity to even think hackberry could ever produce such a fine lookin example of dinner ware.

 

The thing to remember about duct tape-based repairs is this: it’s only temporary, unless it works.

 

If duct tape doesn't work, I resort to heater hose clamps.

I once fixed a friend's cracked exhaust with a pair of tin shears, a tomato can and two heater hose clamps and two years later she told me it still held.

She was a great gal and ate meat off many men's plates.

Archilocus was a very funny Greek poet of the eighth century BJSU (before Jesus showed up) and I borrowed that last line from him. No offense intended.

 

If you lawn furniture used to be a car seat, you might be a.....

 

You know, there isn't enough praise out there for JB Weld.
Duct tape may be temporary, but JB Weld will fix almost anything.