Position available in Waco

With Ken Starr announcing that Baylor will appoint an independent investigator to look into the situation with Briles and company, I think it is incumbent upon HornFans to assist our Baptist brotheren with their selection. This thread will allow you to place names in nomination, along with reasons for your nomination. Unfortunately, most of the ones I would recommend are dead.

My list would have been:

Charles Haralson - deceased, but he could have gotten the truth

Ben Jack Cage - he would have at least been able to buy the truth; who knows if he's alive or not. Check your section of the Cotton Bowl during the OU game for a man in disguise.

The Little Man - deceased, but there would have been no lying, and zero ********

Have fun

 

Ken Starr. He has experience...sniffing around.

 

I nominate Dog the Bounty Hunter because there is a lot of running from the truth up in Waco.

 

I nominate "Felix the Cat," because cats have a score to settle with the Baylor athletic program. He will be out for blood, to avenge the death of one of his brothers, at the hands of a Baylor athlete.

Viva los Queso!

update-on-queso

 

Chuck Norris.

 

Race Horse Haynes still around?

 

Mr Deez can get to the bottom of this issue.

 

Inspector Clouseau is your man...

 

I just read they have hired the best investigator available...

 

This guy. This is the guy.

 

There is nothing to see here. They already have their man and the investigation is finished.

 

Baylor should should just do a better job of teaching Baylor values during freshmen orientation for female students -- and maybe effeminate males as well.

A stud football player wants your virginity? Give it up and don't expect him to ask twice, be polite or use lube. Obviously, we don't want a university to be "heartbroken" for all concerned, especially not when one of those concerned is a freshman all-American defensive end.

 

Isn't he the guy that spent 25 million investigating Clinton and the only thing he came up with is he got a BJ.

 

This is not an independent investigation. It is in the words of Ken Starr (who know all about what can go wrong during an "independent" investigation).

I'm expecting an outcome similar to A&M's self investigations, though since we are dealing with Baylor, not Aggie, the thousands of pages in the report will likely not include fire escape maps, procedures and diagrams.

No doubt, every crack will be examined, every stone turned over in a self-congratulatory quest for plausible deniability.

 

Second vote for Ben Jack Cage.

 

Baylor's internal investigation will be thorough, transparent, and impartial, resulting in justice and comprehensive reform, and possibly substantial raises for the football coaching staff.

 

Let me get this straight, there are still over 100 bikers still in jail in Waco for no other reason than being in the wrong place at the wrong time while a convicted rapist will be out in time for their bowl game?

That town is wack!

 

Best post yet!!

 

Here is the photo of Art Briles addressing the issue in a forthright manner:

 

This is Texas, so let's call in the experts.



Captain Call and Gus would also handle it. Captain Call has his subtle ways of getting justice in Texas. He even knows how to cut through Federal Government red tape.

 

You can't protect me. No one can...
There's this guy...
Doesn't care about the law.
Doesn't care about proof...
He only cares about what's right...

 

Send this police officer, he will get his man!

 

James A. Wells, Assistant U.S. Attorney General is my nominee. Here is a quote from the character's appearance in Absence of Malice "Now we'll talk all day if you want to. But, come sundown, there's gonna be two things true that ain't true now. One is that the United States Department of Justice is goin' to know what in the good Christ - e'scuse me, Angie - is goin' on around here. And the other's I'm gonna have somebody's *** in muh briefcase."

 

His name already came up but I second the vote for Inspector Clouseau:

 

I really like the Pink Panther movies, hilarious! Maybe a movie can be made about Baylor and have Starr as inspector Clouseau