How prepared are you for a zombie infestation?

Discussion in 'Esther's Follies' started by CleverNickname, Dec 17, 2007.


    NCAAFBALLROX 1,000+ Posts

  2. Macanudo

    Macanudo 2,500+ Posts

    Here's the cure:

  3. SuperHero

    SuperHero 500+ Posts

    What Are Your Chances of Surviving a Zombie Attack?

    I have no guns, long bladed weapons, or instruments to cause blunt trauma.

    On the other hand, I am ruthless - the Redeker Plan sounds perfectly logical. Small sacrifices must be made for the greater good.

    My chance of survival according to the site is only 47%. I plan on getting a few firearms and bladed weapons to increase my chances.

    NCAAFBALLROX 1,000+ Posts

    You Have a 69% Chance of Survival!

    I think I am probably going to re-examine my choice of a Wal Mart vs. some fortified location... they've got guns there, though. Hmm.

    I already plugged in that I'd ditch just about anyone & will assess whether they might be saved then & there (no "hold for possible cure" options).

  5. Macanudo

    Macanudo 2,500+ Posts

    I scored 79%.
  6. schnarkle

    schnarkle 500+ Posts

    Dang, 57%.

    I gotta start workin out.
  7. TexasDan

    TexasDan 100+ Posts

    You Have a 76% Chance of Survival!

    Need to rethink my city of residence.
  8. tx 3 putt

    tx 3 putt 100+ Posts

    Brittmore and Hammerly in Houston, Tx.

    I tell the truth, a castle type structure. Appeard to be 4 to 5 doors around the first floor, no windows until the 3 rd floor. Typical castle type windows. Overall it appears to be about 5 stories high, maybe 4.

    NCAAFBALLROX 1,000+ Posts

    I got an 89% by ditching everyone, going to a fortified building & hiding (might have to try the Po-Po station instead) & having enough food on hand to last for months, running long distances @ a fast pace... I think the size of the town is holding me back.

  10. Longhorny630

    Longhorny630 1,000+ Posts

    ive always wanted to commandeer the main building at UT, reinforce the lower windows, and just kinda chill. make some heb runs every now and then for food, and utilize the underground tunnels at UT, then wait for the calvarly
  11. TaylorTRoom

    TaylorTRoom 1,000+ Posts

    I think where most zombie casualties happen is in the first few minutes, before people realize what's happening. If you see somebody shuffling towards you, not saying anything, are you ready to cave their skull in with a blunt object without first being warned of zombies?
  12. SuperHero

    SuperHero 500+ Posts

    I think most tough-guy internet forum posters are ready to decapitate a zombie, beat the skull into a pulp with a tire iron, and **** down the corpse's windpipe. But the general population is not ready to stand by as a kid or puppy gets mauled by zombies. Their compassion is what gets them and everyone else into the mess.

    I suggest we broadcast the teachings of Joseph Stalin, Pol Pot and the guy in charge of the Rape of Nanking on PBS and NPR airwaves - numb the population and turn them into hardened zombie killers.
  13. Bevoette

    Bevoette 1,000+ Posts

    I wont have to worry much in my area.. zombies like brians right? remember where I live..

    OOps BRAINS ! not brians LOL
  14. KC-97HORN

    KC-97HORN 500+ Posts

  15. Longhorny630

    Longhorny630 1,000+ Posts

    best place to go after a zombie outbreak is to sea. find a big *** yacht, load it with supplies, and sail into the sunset

    NCAAFBALLROX 1,000+ Posts

    Um... no.

  17. Longhorny630

    Longhorny630 1,000+ Posts

    well, from what i read, a large yacht may work for a couple people (fishing would provide food, and water could be obtained with the proper tools). but for larger amounts of people, i give you the blue ghost

    its a boat, but it doesn't have to set sail. think of it as a steel castle with a moat

    its got kitchens, bathrooms, beds, surveillance posts, barber shops, storage space,
    its close to austin
    zombies/non wanted humans could only access it through one ramp where a impenetrable gate could be built and guarded
    the flight deck offers exercise yards
    heli landing pads, which would enable trained pilots to fly choppers to land on nearby HEB's on the roof where zombies can't get to stock up on supplies (also academy (guns) and large gas stations)
    even if it turns out zombies can swim, they still cant get in
    it already has gun mounts on it for flak attack (which, even if it isn't a head shot can still tear limbs off, rendering the zombies immobile)
    theater on board, for entertainment
    golf balls can be hit into the ocean (i am legend...)
    PA system to warn the troops of an outbreak/breakthrough

    can be sunk by aerial torpedos and dive bombers, so pray the zombies don't amass an air force
  18. Macanudo

    Macanudo 2,500+ Posts

    According to our intelligence, zombies can survive underwater. Now, using the Lex isn't a terrible idea since it can be easily defended and it provides walls.
  19. Longhorny630

    Longhorny630 1,000+ Posts

    i was also thinking, since food will eventually run out at heb's (esp after panicked people start ransacking it), it wouldn't be that hard to scavenge some fishing boats nearby and dock em with the lex. that way you can dedicate a portion of the crew to fishing in the gulf and still have a safe port. you could also use the flight deck to grow crops or use nearby farm land. helicopters provide the safest transportation to land sites, but boats/choppers are gas guzzlers...
  20. Macanudo

    Macanudo 2,500+ Posts

    Ok, all right. I like you're thinking. And what if we towed the Texas up to Corpus and used her for fire support?
  21. theropods

    theropods 250+ Posts

    I've been away from Hornfans for about a week and realized how much I missed you guys. I'm in Long Island, but I want in. I'll swipe a boat/helicopter/plane and get to the hideout. I've got a .22 long rifle and am an excellent shot with any caliber of rifle. My girlfriend is buying a 410 shotgun with no stock and a pistol grip. I will also provide literally about 4 hours of entertainment talking about evolution and White Castle diarrhea. I'm also trained as a geologist and biologist for after the Zombie attack is over. I am re-reading World War Z right now and have read (and own a copy) of the Zombie Survival Guide.

    I'm surprised 410 shotguns haven't gotten any play on here. They would be light and easy to use in close quarters such as if the zombies got to the wall. Additionally, you don't have to be a very good shot to use them, just point in the general direction of the head. They don't kick much so women and children could use them to help defend the walls/entrances. The shells are also easy to fill and re-use. We could even use gravel if we had to.

    I think another key is double walls with a trench lined with punji stakes in between. If the zombies are getting over the first wall, we retreat along walkways that are removable. We then shoot from the second wall. As the zombies come over the wall, they would fall on the punji stakes. Although these wouldn't kill them (except for freak occurences where the stake went through their heads), it would cause them to be impaled and stuck for a period of time allowing us more time to pick them off.
  22. Longhorny630

    Longhorny630 1,000+ Posts

    If you've got any 16 inch shells lying around, it might be worth it, although it might cause a little too much collateral damage. i think a big problem will be supply of gas both during and after the outbreak. the texas would provide a secure point from which to keep the houston oil/gas under patrol and out of enemy hands, while the lex provides access to food. we could occupy both and use boats/choppers to ship supplies back and forth.

    whatever long-term secure position we choose it doesn't sound like any of them are in austin. once the outbreak is confirmed, is it going to be a mad dash to the stronghold or will there be a local rally point where all members will meet, prep, and then convoy to the stronghold? my choice would be to meet locally at a short term stronghold, let the outbreak progress through the citizen population to eliminate hitchhikers/ambushes by hyper-survivalists/clutter, allow for out of town posters to meet us, then convoy to the long term relocation center. that would also allow us to scan radios/tvs to see if the military creates any fortresses that would cater to us before we make our own
  23. tx 3 putt

    tx 3 putt 100+ Posts

    We can breed rabbits for a steady supply of meat. They don't take up much space, easy to breed, low feed / water needs.

    Grilled rabbit is pretty damn good too.
  24. accuratehorn

    accuratehorn 10,000+ Posts

    There's always zombie fajitas.

    NCAAFBALLROX 1,000+ Posts

    Um, accurate, you DO realize that's how you become a zombie... right? Splatter is bad enough to get you infected, but to intentionally eat 'em?

    As for aircraft carriers, I dunno... I'm all for making a run towards Canada & maybe even as far as Nunavut. Cold weather, my friends... cold weather.

  26. Beamwalker

    Beamwalker 250+ Posts

    I'll head up the team on the Texas. Now we have come to the conclusion that water is not a final impediment to zombies, but big ships like that are too tall for the Zs to climb up. The long, sinding ramp on the lex would make a great lineup for easy pickings. The only problem is if there was a concentrated zed attack, the bodies could eventually pile up to the edge, both of those ships are grounded in shallow water. Now if they send enough waves of slow shufflers, then once the bodies are sufficiently high, they send in a platoon of 28days type fast movers, then we'd be SOL. So there needs to be some sort of mechanism to clear out any bodies before they pile up. Napalm might work, but being that close is a dangerous prospect. Actually the body pile up would be a problem for any of the fortresses, or have we cleared that up already? I missed a couple pages in the middle of the discussion.
  27. Bevo5

    Bevo5 1,000+ Posts

    Ok wait...the ares needing to be secured are getting a little out of hand. First of all, how are you people planning on building the big walls, gates, etc. during a massive zombie infestation? Not like they're going to chill out while you build up some walls.

    The name of the game is going to be getting somewhere very quickly and locking the doors behind you. Then, aiming every gun you have at said doors .

    Securing farm lands, oil rigs, etc. etc. takes too much time right off the bat. Now, eventually you will be able to do stuff like that..but by then the zombies will be dead from lack off food (I hope).

    My plan is still super wal-mart. Run in, lock the doors, keep the mcdonald's and starbucks pumping out fries/coffee....i'm good to go for a while.

    You guys have fun making it to the boat....and getting supplies onto it while zombies are trying to eat your brains. I'll be playing guitar hero and wearing $20 jeans.
  28. Idahorn2

    Idahorn2 250+ Posts

    First of all, I don't want to be in the neighborhood the first time the main guns on the Texas are fired for practice. There's no telling what might have accumulated in those barrels since Normandy. Also, if we are going to acquire a carrier, the Nimitz would be a better choice, for nostalgia if no other reason.

    This week, we finally got around to seeing the most recent zombie documentary: "I am Legend." As a result, it is necessary for me to revise my estimate of their capabilities. As anyone who has ever had the benefit of a 2-shop briefing (S-2, G-2: Intelligence) will tell you, the conservative approach is not to attempt to assess your enemy’s intentions (“Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men .... Only the Shadow knows.”). It is wise to do the best you can to determine their capabilities and prepare to counter what the enemy can do if they take their best shot. (While I have equated "conservative" with "wise," in this instance this is not related to those matters ranted upon in West Maul.)

    Bad Factors:

    These critters can move. My previous impression was that zombies could only lurch around like they had badly soiled their briefs. Arms outstretched without a lot of joint flexibility. In this obviously authentic film (the cameraman was so scared that he was shaking pretty badly) they appeared to be at least as fast as a normal human and perhaps much faster. As shown by the chap dismantling the ceiling to get access to the roof, their physical strength is also elevated. Colonel Neville remarked on this creature feature.

    They can scale walls that provide any sort of sufficient handholds; like those climbing walls that scare the s__t out of me.

    They might deploy zombified K-9 assets.

    This variant of the undead is more than ready to cross over and become really dead in order to accomplish the objective. All desperation, no hesitation.

    Not clear why (probably not the 72 virgin thing) but they do not seem to flinch at the prospect of suicidal sacrifice. They do flinch, a lot, when they are in their dark rooms--chilling out, resting, or whatever.

    They have the ability to mimic minor engineering tasks. We know this because they were able to snare the late LTC Neville, D.S.C., after seeing him use a snare to trap one of their own.

    They are responsive to commands and the smaller unit leaders lead from the front when necessary.

    Positive Factors:

    It is a good thing just to know what the bad factors are. Ignorance is not bliss, at least not for as long as you might like.

    Maneuver: they do not seem to have developed the high art of maneuver. Their attacks are always “High Diddle Diddle, Right up the Middle” --sort of like U. S. Marines (recall Gulf War I). One must still guard against it, but this recent film shows no organized movement “sur la derriere” as Bonaparte put it.

    Perhaps the most important intel from this film is that the zombies are vulnerable not just in the skull. They can be wasted by killing rounds in the torso and respond appropriately to high explosives and burning agents. Thus they can be killed (?), or at least rendered hors de combat, in the same old ways used against more conventional naked apes.

    They have not learned the use of firearms, nor any other weapons other than a neolithic, at-hand, club. They do not have any commo.

    They seem to have no medical support. The film, brief though it was, did not show any evidence of Red Cross armbands, stretchers, or wounded zombies gumming-out calls for “MEDIC!”

    Conclusions: (We have now switched to Operations: S-3.)

    Because of the increased vulnerability, limiting ourselves to accurate, hopefully long-range, rifle fire is not necessary. They do move quickly. So, however desirable, pinpoint headshots at great distances are not required. Accurate rifle fire is still one of the mainstays of any defense; but it can be supplemented and made more effective by other means.

    In contemplating a defense, naturally the first objective is to keep the bad guys as far away as possible. Diplomacy seems not to be an option, so we have to assume at some point they will come within range. LTC Neville attempted to offer terms there at the end, but this resulted in no parley.

    Since we have no air support, it is hoped we can find some engineer assets: personnel, materials, and equipment, to “shape the battlefield.”

    As much as the gross terrain permits, there should be clear fields of fire going out as far, and then some, as the range of all direct fire weapons. (Direct fire weapons are those which the person handling the weapon can see the target.) Someone should shoot a message to those folks up in Vermont to start cutting trees around their concrete perimeter out to about 2000 yards. The cut timber should always be burned, any enemy capable of making a snare trap might be able to fashion scaling ladders.

    No activities should be undertaken which might give them a single clue as to methods--when they might be able to observe the activities. I know that's vague, but think about it.

    If there are any terrain features that would allow them cover (“defilade”) these spots should be pre-registered for mortar fires. This precaution might not be necessary since these guys do not seem inclined to cower behind cover.

    It is obvious that one aim of the engineers should be to slow these SOB’s down. Their ability to cover ground very quickly makes them difficult targets for small arms. Another aim is to force the enemy onto ground of your own choosing. Wellington is said to have had the Waterloo battlefield “in his pocket” for several weeks or months before Bonaparte moved toward Charleroi.

    There are many time-honored techniques for accomplishing these objectives. Trenches, mines, and wire are among the more popular if there is time and the means are available.

    Bringing these elements into play is really a matter for a skilled military engineer, not a mere lapsed Military Police Captain such as your author. There is a reason all your top West Point grads (Lee, McClellan, Meade, MacArthur, et al.) used to be commissioned in the Corps of Engineers. OK, Meade was actually a topograhical engineer, but you get the point.

    In general though, trenches and mines can be used to deny the use of “High Speed Avenues of Approach” to the enemy. Doctrine would require that these minefields be marked and carefully mapped. Princess Diana would clearly prefer mines not be used at all. Oops, I forgot; she’s dead. Not sure that this enemy would pay much heed to a marked minefield anyway. These buggers might just use their abundant personnel to clear the minefield, a tactic not unknown East of the Vistula.

    High explosive anti-personnel mines are all that is necessary, and nothing fancy like Bouncing Betties. (I doubt this adversary is concerned about genital wounds.) Claymores are wonderful, you can never have too many. As mentioned a few weeks ago, they can also be used to command-detonate 55 gallon drums filled with gasoline and Tide (napalm). This last device is perhaps best used when the enemy is concentrated in the kill zone.

    While the High Speed Avenue of Approach is an armor concept, these folks are analogous to armor in that they move fast and are, in gross, impervious to small arms.

    Wire is a good, but passive, tool. Modern razor wire is absolutely vicious. Shredded zombie. Six rolls, stacked and well staked, should deter anyone traveling on foot. Again, however, this particular enemy might simply send semi-human waves into the wire to clog up the works and get over them. Still, if they choose to do this, as with using their “infantry” to clear minefields, massive casualties will be inflicted. Not a bad thing. If the wire and the mines divert them to our killing field, OK. If not, we should still face reduced numbers.

    If the surrounding terrain includes rivers, streams, swamps, or bogs, these approaches should not be wired, mined, or entrenched on either side. Crossing any water or mud will slow down anything; making the assaulting forces easy targets for small arms fire. They should be lured onto such 'ground.'

    All these tools should be used, as alluded to above, to channel these unfortunates into our kill zone, possibly right before our walls. They will be trapped like rats.

    Mortars and machine guns can be used because head shots are not necessary. A good mortarman can probably be trained in a week. Firing the things could not be simpler; it is the targeting and adjusting fire that involves mathematics and stuff like that. Both 4.2" and 81mm mortars should be found. They might find the illumination rounds from the 4.2 perplexing, and the light will enormously assist targeting all aimed fire. Night vision devices should be widely available.

    All those operating aimed weapons should be able to adjust their fires on command, i.e., we should have appropriate commo.

    A good weapons mix should include a wide variety of crew-served automatic weapons, i.e., machine guns. Starting with the venerable Ma Deuce (M2 .50 caliber) and working our way down to the modern SAW (squad automatic weapon). Someone needs to know how to adjust the head-space on the .50. The M60, adapted from the German MG42, is a good all-purpose killer-provided you have a pretty burly gunner if use in a portable mode is needed. Change out those barrels!

    With respect to other, heavier ordnance, no need for any anti-armor technology such as LAWs or recoilless rifles (do they still have those in the inventory?).

    Artillery, even the lighter 105 guns, probably require too much training and are of limited use unless there is a method to acquire targets and adjust fire at really long ranges.

    As much fun as a few Multiple Launch Rocket Systems would be, the MLRS (or Grid Square Removal System) might be, pardon the expression, overkill.

    It is to be hoped we have time to discuss, elaborate, and implement a plan of this nature before the balloon goes up. As my coach used to say: "These guys are Agile, Mobile, and Hostile." (It rhymed.) They are also primitive as hell.

    "Forlorn Hope" my ***!!
  29. Macanudo

    Macanudo 2,500+ Posts

    All, right. He's in charge.
  30. Macanudo

    Macanudo 2,500+ Posts

    OK, I still like the Lex idea. It can easily secured. That ramp should be demolished. We can ferry supplies and/or people back and forth with a small launch. So, those that survive south of San Antonio should make way to the coast and shoot for making it to the Lex.

    But, there is a **** ton of ordnance at both Ft. Hood (1st Cav) and Ft. Bliss (1st Armored is on the way from Germany.) And both the Killeen and El Paso areas provide decent to good defensive ground. El Paso has more elevation but it's way the hell out there. So, rally in Killeen and once we secure weapons and ordnance, maybe sortie aviation assets at Ft. Hood to secure Ft. Bliss' weaponry.

    Any other military post in the U.S. should be used as additional rally points. Ft. Lewis is right across from McChord AFB so we'll have weaponry AND cargo aircraft. I'll be at Ft. Lewis grabbing whatever I can. Gray Army Airfield is flat, fenced in and defensible for a short while until proper modifications can be made to the perimeter for better lines of sight.

    We're gonna need some chopper pilots. And C-5/C-130 pilots.

Share This Page