i'm going to admit that i thought i was too cool for fraternities, which probably made me as uncool as i thought the members were.
Sorority girls. First rush party sold me on this somewhat easy access to what was my #1 priority. My HS girlfriend was very religious and very virgin. Beautiful, rich and her Granddaddy's name is on the cornerstone of several buildings at UT. However, at my first rush party, I touched a breast and my hand didn't instantly freeze solid. So long HS girlfriend. Frat initiation sucked big time. Two pledge brothers made trips to the emergency room. Didn't sleep from Thurs. morning until Monday. Yes, you will hallucinate without sleep. I didn't drink alcohol then and I paid dearly. 144 raw eggs swallowed one after another. 144 pukes. I also refused to take "licks" during Hell Week. I had enough of that **** from football coaches and principals. So I got singled out for "special" tasks. I later I whipped the **** out of one of my chief tormentors. I was the Hell Master a couple of years later and I was without doubt the biggest wuss ever. I enjoyed it but I wouldn't let my son pledge because it was not conducive to scholarship maintenance.
We built a fraternity around NOT hazing. There are plenty enough hard and painful but worthwhile activities and projects in the world to do besides hazing.
FWIW, those stories about anal insertion or the "elephant walk" or oysters and string are all just that. Stories. They never actually do those things, but they make the pledges live in fear they will have to make the decision of what to do when it comes up and it never does - much to their relief.
I will say that I got a kick out of the story of the fraternity that supposedly, under the name of rival fraternity, sent donuts to rival's sorority sisters and then later sent pictures of what they were doing with those donuts before being delivered.
I joined a fraternity for the connections and leadership opportunities. The connections haven't really helped my career but I've got some good friends. The leadership opportunities catapulted me into a key internship that had major impacts on my first job out of college. As someone who has been through Army bootcamp and was also a Pledge Educator at my fraternity I see many similarities. Sure, some members see "hazing" as simply a way to f**k with another guy but I see it as more breaking down a pledge and rebuilding them, especially for those kids coming straight from home. That process involves hard work training them study habits, pride in their fraternity, and respect for your peers. Ultimately, I think the intensive 3-months I spent educating the pledges was valuable both to the pledge and myself. Heck, there was one kid in the pledge class who was flunking out as a freshman at U of Washington. I helped him find assistance that ultimately diagnosed him as dyslexic. Were he not in the fraternity he wouldn't have had the support network to help him through that. The guy is now an engineer for Intel. Oh...I paid my way through school and the fraternity with my parents contributing $0 to any of my 4-5 years there. I worked Fri-Sun as a bellman so I wasn't exactly a "silver spoon" pledge although we certainly had a few of those also. Overall it was a VERY rewarding experience for me though.
