I need advice from the Atty on the board

Discussion in 'West Mall' started by I35, Sep 18, 2018.

  1. I35

    I35 2,500+ Posts

    I have a situation and reaching out to the board in what I should do. My GF who I’ve gotten really serious with took her son to school and the PE coach is a muscular black guy wanted to talk to her about her son. He asked a lot of questions about her home life and personal questions to see if anything is going on because her son (6 years old) will do things to get into trouble, but just laughs about it when redirected. We see that at home as well and he’s been sent to time out immediately when he does it. So he found out that my GF is divorced from her sons dad. Keep that in mind as the story goes on. My GF was holding her son while he was crying and he reached over to take her son from my GF to help him in and so that my gF could leave and he touched her crotch area. It startled her but just thought it was incidental when he was picking up her son from her. So my GF then went to his teacher right after that to ask if she’s also seeing it. She said yes but nothing that can’t be handled in the classroom. But the teacher seemed to be more concerned that the PE teacher didn’t go through her because that’s the normal protocol. We will find out just what those concerns are later.

    So as my GF left her class the PE teacher was waiting for her to come out and said he wanted to discuss her son more. She told him okay but that she will be right back because she left her phone in the car and she has to call work to let them know she’s running late. She gets to her car and is talking to her boss as she was stand there with the door open. She had to park a little bit around the building so it was in an isolated area of the parking lot. When she hung up and turned around he was right there behind her and scared her. He apologized. So he told her he was sorry that she is divorced and single. She told him she is divorced but not single. That she has a BF. He seemed to just ignore that and started asking her if she ever notices how he looks at her. Told her he’s going through a divorce as well. He tried to reach out and hold her hand and she pulled back and told him that she’s not interested and that all she wants is for him to be her sons PE teacher. So he said okay and then acted like he wanted to give her a quick hug and she was caught by surprise and then he tried to lean over and kiss her. She tried to step back but he had an arm around her and she turned her face to the side and he ended up kissing her in the cheek. Then he stepped back and started practically begging her to take a day off and that he would as well so they could spend the day together. She told him she was not interested and he began to beg saying I promise you won’t regret it. She told him no and got into her car. As she was climbing in he told her please don’t say anything because the women here at the school like to gossip.

    She immediately called me once she got in the car crying and very upset because she was so scared. My first thought made me want to go kick his ***. But once I calmed down I told her she has to go back to the school and report it. I told her she’s not just doing it for herself, but the predator that he is he’s done that before and he will continue after other victims. Because that’s very ballsy of him to be that forward. Being that forward means he has done this before and will continue to. My GF had a important meeting later that morning at work and was giving a presentation so she had to get to the office. But she did write her teacher to tell her about what happened. Of course the teacher also told her to come in and meet with the principal because her words would be much more effective. The teacher told her that he has a history of complaints about him. He’s around late 40s early 50s and nothing has ever happened in those complaints. The teacher also had made a complaint about him before. He is ex-military and a black man and has always played the race card and also the veteran card.

    When she arrived in the parking lot this morning she could see him at the front door holding it open for everyone. She sat in her car for about 10 mins scared to death to walk in. We already discussed that she would go to the principals office once inside. So she finally walked in with her son this morning and he tried to talk to her by saying hi and told her that her son did very well yesterday. She did not speak to him or make eye contact. My GFs son’s teacher saw her and walked in with her. She then took her son to the classroom and then she escorted my GF to the principals office and she said she could tell he was looking that direction as she went in to the office. So he knows he’s being reported. The principal said they will treat this as a sexual assault and she will go to her higher ups about it. My GF is so afraid of him. I actually live with her on weekends and at my place during the week in SA. But she has to drive the opposite direct to work making that 2 hours away from me.

    As of right now if this predator still keeps his job I’ve decided to go to the school board meeting if I have to and discuss it with them. If the school doesn’t take action on this known predator do we have any legal actions that can be taken? She’s also afraid for her son as well. My GF is scared and told me she was shaking when she was speaking to the Principal. I’m not sure she has any witnesses or any way to prove it. But I’m wondering if he’s had a history doing this and being reported would that hold water. I’m furious about this whole situation. She shouldn’t have to deal with this. My GF is very attractive and I feel lucky to have her. I’m sure she’s out of my league but she doesn’t feel that way. But it’s frustrating that there never seems to be consequences anymore for people like this.

    I don’t know any of you personally but consider everyone here my friend (even SH). Is there anything I’m not thinking about?
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2018
  2. iatrogenic

    iatrogenic 1,000+ Posts

    P O L I C E
     
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  3. NJlonghorn

    NJlonghorn 1,000+ Posts

    As both a lawyer and a Board of Ed member, stories like this turn my stomach. The ongoing problem we face is that people aren't willing to come forward, either because they don't want to get involved or they don't want the teacher to retaliate against their child.

    The only way to stop people like this is to report them. I agree with @iatrogenic that you should have your girlfriend file a police report. But I also urge you to take the matter up the chain of command. You have to go to the principal, then the superintendent (or whoever the principal reports to), and so on until you get to the board. DON'T GO STRAIGHT TO THE BOARD -- they have no authority to act unless you have followed proper procedures.
     
  4. I35

    I35 2,500+ Posts

    Ok good advice from both of you. I spoke to my GF and she is going to file a police report.
     
  5. mchammer

    mchammer 2,500+ Posts

    Based on my little spat with my daugher’s school leadership, you need to pursue different angles, such as the local governing authority. Everyone has a different driver and will see the situation differently. You don’t want one path that can be blocked by an administrator that doesn’t care or is in their interest to do nothing.
     
  6. mchammer

    mchammer 2,500+ Posts

    Sorry to hear about your GF’s situation, but it’s good you are there for her, plus I’m sure you being involved in the family is a big help to her son. Plus, she’s hot according to you, so you got that covered. :beertoast:
     
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  7. Dionysus

    Dionysus Admin

    @I35 Best wishes to you and the GF on this.

    Some people are just bad at being human.
     
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  8. I35

    I35 2,500+ Posts

    Good idea. I’ll check on that angle too.
     
  9. Horn6721

    Horn6721 10,000+ Posts

    This board is AWESOME!!
    I35 she is lucky to have you and I bet she thinks she doesn't deserve you
    so all is good.
     
  10. I35

    I35 2,500+ Posts

    My GF said she felt violated because of what he did and that he used her son to put her in a bad position. That he acted like he wanted to have a discussion about her son.
     
  11. I35

    I35 2,500+ Posts

    McHammer, she’s extremely hot. She’s also pretty sharp with degrees from Texas A&M :idk: and The University of Texas. :hookem2:

    I’m very good to her kid and am willing to play ball in the back yard in the heat for over an hour at a time with him. He calls me daddy already . :yikes: But thank you for your words.
     
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  12. Mr. Deez

    Mr. Deez 5,000+ Posts

    This is good, but I will reiterate what NJ said - go up the chain with the school system. Most likely, the police will blow it off, because they will see it as a swearing match. Your girlfriend will state what happened. He'll deny it. If that's all the available evidence, the police aren't likely to go pursue him. In order to take disciplinary action, the school district doesn't have to meet the same burden of proof that the police do. Furthermore, if he has done this to other teachers or parents (and they'll know if he has whether they disclose that to you or not), they'll be more motivated to take action.

    If you're concerned about what he might do, I'd do two things. First, I'd make sure the girlfriend is armed or carrying some kind of weapon whenever she legally can be. Second, I'd get her kid out of his PE class. If he's an ******* but doesn't have the balls to go after her, he might take it out on her kid.

    Don't these sorta cancel each other out???
     
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  13. I35

    I35 2,500+ Posts

    Thanks Deez, I knew I could count on the members here to give me sound advice when all I could do is think about kicking his ***.

    One thing I learn fast when dating an Aggie is they don’t have the same sense of humor we do with it comes to teasing about Ags. She’s great with everything else. LOL.
     
  14. I35

    I35 2,500+ Posts

    UPDATE:

    I got this in a text from my GF. She heard from her son’s teacher. And this is my GF’s response to me.

    “He's been sent home on leave pending investigation. I have to fill out some paperwork”

    I’m actually proud of her for standing up for herself and for the past and future victims of this predator.
     
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  15. Horn6721

    Horn6721 10,000+ Posts

    Great news.
    Kudos to her
    And you do not have to worry about him retaliating with the son.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  16. Sangre Naranjada

    Sangre Naranjada Liquor Man

    Sounds like the start of a good resolution.
     
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  17. Mr. Deez

    Mr. Deez 5,000+ Posts

    I'd still pull him from the class if he comes back.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  18. Dionysus

    Dionysus Admin

    Absolutely yes. If the school system won’t do the right thing to protect your child, F them, do it yourself. You have the ultimate say in this.
     
  19. I35

    I35 2,500+ Posts

    We’ve already been discussing that. I’m actually starting to think he won’t be back. If there’s a history of this and i’m guessing he broke so many protocols by following a parent out to her car, not going through the teacher, etc..... So it probably will be a he said she said situation, but he can’t justify his actions leading up to that. We do have it set up that a police officer escorts her in and out of the office at her work to her car. We are getting her pepper spray and we are going both going to get licensed to carry. Of course she can’t go in at her work or I to a school but she will have it for other situations. The way we look at it, if he’s crazy enough to do that then he’s crazy enough to do anything.
    No matter what the results are he won’t be her 6 year old’s PE teacher again.
    I really appreciate everyone that chimed in. It was all really helpful and in a sense felt like we have each other’s back.
     
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  20. NJlonghorn

    NJlonghorn 1,000+ Posts

    Don’t get carried away. We were more than willing to help your hot girlfriend and her 6-year-old son. You? Not so much. :smokin:

    Seriously, though, I’m glad things are on the right track. Good luck!
     
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  21. I35

    I35 2,500+ Posts

    REPORTED!!! :smile1:
     
  22. I35

    I35 2,500+ Posts

    UPDATE!!!
    YOU’RE FIRED!!! That’s what the school told him.
    They called my GF to let her know and told her she did the right thing and not to feel bad that someone got fired because of her reporting him. (My Gf and I wouldn’t or didn’t feel bad. We were going to cause a fuss if they didn’t fire him). The Principal said she can’t tell my GF any details on why she did the right thing, but that she doesn’t have to worry about him anymore.
    It appears that something else was going on with him on top of what my GF reported. Came in close at the same time. So this piece of **** predator has no reason to be in a school system as an employee. We’re satisfied with their decision.
     
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  23. Mr. Deez

    Mr. Deez 5,000+ Posts

    Good work, I35 and his hot girlfriend!
     
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  24. mchammer

    mchammer 2,500+ Posts

    The perfect ending on HF: football team is winning, hot gf, winning a legal issue, hot gf, happy ending, did I mention the hot gf, etc.
     
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  25. Mr. Deez

    Mr. Deez 5,000+ Posts

    In case it wasn't clear, it's good to have hot gf.
     
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  26. Hollandtx

    Hollandtx 250+ Posts

    As a woman, I would say that this is a great outcome.
    I would also advise your GF to watch her back, be hyper-focused on her surroundings, cars that might be following her, etc.
    I'm not trying to freak you out, but I have been stalked twice. Once, from a guy who was angry I broke up with him. It was pretty basic stuff. He would be waiting at my house when I got home, show up on my running route in his car, but backed off after a few weeks. I never felt "in fear" that he would take it further.

    The other situation is the exact opposite. When I was a TV reporter, I started receiving fan mail from an anonymous man. At the same time, since I was just an intern then, I had to work in the Kinsolving Dorm serving meals. In the summer it is co-ed, so there were many guys I would talk to every morning as they came through the line. One guy was a huge Asian, 6'3 at least. He was top belts in all martial arts, had a body like Bruce Lee, and a huge crush on another girl who worked with me. I would give him advice every once in a while, he seemed like a really nice guy.
    Well, long story, one day he asked me to lunch, and he needed to run by his apt beforehand. When I walked in, there were like 50 pictures of me all over, taken with a long range lens and obviously when I wasn't aware. It was like an episode of some crime show!
    Needless to say, I cut off communication with him immediately.
    Well, to this day, he has been able to follow me whenever I have moved, been in training in different cities when only my family and a few friends knew where I was. I have no idea how he finds me, much of this was before computers. He donates blood in my name every year, and I still get a couple of letters from him each year with him commenting on what I was doing or wearing that day. It is super freaky. I know he doesn't live here in San Antonio. Some men get fixated and can't let go for some reason. He is the one who scares me.

    Again, I doubt any of this will happen to your GF, but if she is super hot, got him fired, and he is sexually attracted to her, she needs to stay on her toes.
    He sounds stubborn, and he couldn't/wouldn't take a hint. You may want to have your GF carry a pistola, or take a self-defense class like Krav Magna. I took 2 years of that, and while I am no match in strength for any man, I am comfortable with striking, knowing where to strike, and staying calm.
    She is lucky to have you!
     
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  27. Mr. Deez

    Mr. Deez 5,000+ Posts

    In case it wasn't clear, it's good to have hot gf.
     
  28. Dionysus

    Dionysus Admin

    @Hollandtx That is disturbing. Have you reported this guy’s stalking behavior? I don’t know if it would do any good but damn.
     
  29. Mr. Deez

    Mr. Deez 5,000+ Posts

    And that's a long time for a guy to stalk someone. You'd think a guy with a Bruce Lee complex would eventually go on with his life.
     
  30. Horn6721

    Horn6721 10,000+ Posts

    Holland
    This has to be terrible for you.
    But I smiled when you said you took classes and can hold your own. I have NO doubt of that.
    Proud of you.
     
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