i'm a tactical genius

Discussion in 'Esther's Follies' started by Hayden_Horn, Dec 14, 2006.

  1. Hayden_Horn

    Hayden_Horn 1,000+ Posts

    so i'm at schlotsky's finishing up my lunch. all finished, i throw away my trash and get in line to get more iced tea. well, as i'm waiting a woman is taking forever to choose between the sweetened jar of tea and the unsweetened.

    i'm not patient by nature, but i don't want to be rude and cut in front of her.

    well, she makes her choice, and then moves over to the lemons. i get my tea and again wait for her.

    this woman is ridiculous, picking and choosing the lemon wedges to slip in her tea. she must have been standing there for up to minutes. ridiculous.

    so i farted.

    and not one of those nice fart - it was a silent, "i-drank-5-icehouse-tallboys-last-night" numbers that smelled like rotten eggs and moldy cheese blended together.

    as she caught her first whiff, i could see her nostils widen. when it hit with her with full force, she shot me a dirty look and moved away quickly.

    i win.
     
  2. Phil Hellmuth

    Phil Hellmuth 100+ Posts

    Hayden Horn- 1 point
    tea lady- 0 points
     
  3. judgroybeanbag

    judgroybeanbag 500+ Posts

    Was it the Schlotzkys at Balcones Woods Dr.? Because my sandwich tasted like **** today.
     
  4. Traffic

    Traffic 500+ Posts

    You should have tea bagged her.
     
  5. stillaphlopin

    stillaphlopin 25+ Posts

    I will keep this in mind for the next time I'm at the bar waiting in line for a beer.
     
  6. TrashMaster G

    TrashMaster G 250+ Posts

    Are you able to call on this special skill at will? Are you one of the new Heroes?
     
  7. Mrmyke709

    Mrmyke709 1,000+ Posts

    I just voted this thread "allsome".

    Never underestimate the power of flatulence when dealing with social ingrates.
     
  8. DCA_HORN

    DCA_HORN 500+ Posts

    Brilliant! I had this same lady in front of me at Jason's Deli today. I wish I had the same gift as you. I probably would have just crop dusted though.
     
  9. hookem2102

    hookem2102 250+ Posts

    The old dirty bomb suprise attack
    well done sir.
     
  10. miguelito

    miguelito 250+ Posts

  11. HornsN04

    HornsN04 500+ Posts

    well done. [​IMG]
     
  12. LongIslandIceSIP

    LongIslandIceSIP 500+ Posts

    allsome. i tried to do that one time but i sharted.
     
  13. Hayden_Horn

    Hayden_Horn 1,000+ Posts


     
  14. MilkmanDan

    MilkmanDan 1,000+ Posts

  15. Horneius_Maximus

    Horneius_Maximus 250+ Posts


     
  16. next2naus

    next2naus 500+ Posts

    I'm not awarding any points as you waited till the lemon station when you could have cleared her out at the tea station.
     
  17. atxbaby

    atxbaby 250+ Posts

    but did you give her the "yeah *****, i am the one who just deployed that missile" look??
     
  18. TXSooner518

    TXSooner518 250+ Posts

    I award you the Purple Fart for valor in combat. Godspeed.
     
  19. GreenDragonSix

    GreenDragonSix 100+ Posts

    f**khead Yeah Hayden! [​IMG] [​IMG]


     
  20. GHOST HORN

    GHOST HORN 100+ Posts

    i did that today in the movie theatre. wanted to give myself some more space.
     
  21. orange_pride

    orange_pride 100+ Posts

  22. Hayden_Horn

    Hayden_Horn 1,000+ Posts


     

Share This Page